Romance Heroes in the Flesh

I have a weakness for men with British accents...or any accent (except New York...sorry!) for that matter. In any case, I try to picture these studs whenever I read a romance novel. Wow...to bag a guy like one below...what a coop that would be, huh? I would be pleased for all eternity. They're so manly, especially Gerard Butler...boy what a man he is! I would clean toilets for a year if that meant getting him as a husband...hey, I'd even do it for three years. Obviously, he's gotta treat me like the princess that I am. Oh, dear...I'm getting all sweaty thinking about him. I think I need a cold shower...he's so hot!!!

They're all hot! Christian, Damian, Ioan, Gerard....Christian, Damian, Ioan, Gerard...Gerard, Gerard, Gerard...man, that chick from Phantom of the Opera was an idiot!!! Dumb ass!!! Scar or no scar, I would have chosen Gerard over that wimpy mamma's boy in a sec!

I can totally see him as St. Aubyn from Enoch's LONDON'S PERFECT SCOUNDREL. Christian Bale as Sebastian, Lord St. Vincent from Kleypas's upcoming DEVIL IN WINTER; Damian Lewis as...dear...do we have any red headed heroes...I can't think of any; Ioan Gruffold as Westcliff from Kleypas's AN AFFAIR IN AUTUMN. Do you have any favorite actors you envision playing your favorite romance heroes? Do tell...

TIME TO GET PERSONAL

I decided to quit reading Carlyle's A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL. The fact that I keep putting off even picking the book off the couch is a clear sign that I need to read something else.

While reading a few romance blogs, I realized that many of us bloggers seem to be going through some inner turmoil. Lately, work has been a nightmare and I find myself going in at 6:30 AM and leaving around 5 PM, swallowing my lunch whole and holding IT in 'til I'm ready to burst BECAUSE THERE'S JUST NO TIME!!!

My family is currently dealing with the deteriorating health of my maternal grandfather. He's just never been the same since my grandmother died nine years ago. It's upsetting to watch and sometimes I pray that he be given peace. Not only that, but my mother is estranged from her two sisters, one of whom "takes care" (there's a reason the words are in parentheses) of my grandfather.

It's a difficult and painful situation. Here's a typical scene in the life of my mother's family: my grandfather goes to the hospital; we (my mother, dad, etc) find out 2 days later. My grandfather is sick; my mother's sisters refuse to tell us exactly what's afflicting him. My mother has contacted his physician and he just doesn't call her back. It's very frustrating! My grandfather knows zilch and is pretty much hanging on a thread. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?," we ask. TYPICAL ANSWER from my aunts? He's sick. NO SHIT!!! WHAT THE FUCK DOES HE HAVE? Oh, he's sick...argh! Again, it's frustrating because communication between my mother and her sisters ended a few years ago and my aunts refuse to reveal anything. They're the most spiteful, selfish, envious little bitches ever to grace the earth, the villians in the story of my life. Skanks!

Less than a week ago, I called my dear aunts and ripped them a new one, giving myself at the same time massive acid reflux and an irritable bowel syndrome relapse. My mother, in the meantime, is going nuts, crying all time (she's also menopausal), so visits to my folks tend to be a little nutty. Thank God for my dad who always has a sense of humor about this and looks to the bright side. He's the ITALIAN Pollyanna! Gotta love him!!!

Through it all, I have no one to vent to except co-workers (who, of course, are busy with work) and friends (who fuckin' never return my phone calls...jerks!). I have my reading, my volunteer work and my blog. It helps me somehow because I can get so much frustration out, I can help others and I can dream of living a life that is not mine.

I had to vent tonight. Sometimes I just want to forget about all this nonsense and move away from it LITERALLY, but I'm not a little girl anymore and I can't just deny it's occuring. I have to ride the pain and frustration that I'm feeling and hopefully grow from it. What else can I do?

I think I can I think I can I think I can

Oh My Gawd! I can't take it. I simply cannot. I've been trying to read A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL for days and cannot do it. I HATE THE HEROINE! Gosh, she frustrates me so. I don't think she is the right woman for the hero and I want the hero to throw her out of his house, into the wild, to be at the mercy of wolves. Argh!

The book has potential. The hero, Lord Giles Walrafen for one, is strong, charismatic, sexy, but...argh again...I can't do it. Maybe it will get better; it is a Carlyle book, after all, and the ever picky Mrs. Giggles gave it a decent review (although she did mention hating the heroine, also). Hmmm...I don't know what to do. I am confused.

I hate it when authors couple their heroes with argumentative heroines and that is exactly what this woman is up to now (I'm on page 100). She's a servant in Walrafen's house, yet she finds it necessary to talk down to him.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH...someone fire this bitch already!!! They are so mismatched. Any decent regency matchmaker can see this. Why can't Walrafen??? Don't do it (or should I say DON'T DO HER!), Giles! Don't do it!!!

Maybe I shouldn't do it...read the book, that is...I don't know. I'm glad it's Saturday. I have time to decide. It's raining today and I so want to read a good book. What should I do???

You Pierce My Soul

(PLEASE NOTE: SPOILERS BELOW; IF YOU HAVE NOT READ AUSTEN'S PERSUASION AND WANT TO, PLEASE BEWARE)

To the question "What is your favorite book?," the answer is simple: Jane Austen's PERSUASION. The book tells the love story between Anne Elliot and Captain Frederick Wentworth.

Anne, as a young woman, was in love with Frederick Wentworth, a young and inexperienced naval officer. After much urging and convincing by her family and, in particular, a close friend of her mother's, Anne is persuaded to break the connection with Wentworth because he is below her station and, thus, unable to support her in the manner to which she is accustomed.

Years pass. Anne is 27 and a spinster. She was never able to forget Wentworth and has lived a lonely life filled with regret. Wentworth returns after years spent away from Britain, now a Captain and a man of wealth. The old lovers meet. Wentworth is angry and bitter and, at first glance, no longer in love with Anne. Anne, still very much in love, resigns herself to a future of loneliness without Wentworth.

Wentworth is on the marriage mart and several have their eyes set on him. Anne is convinced of his impending nuptials to another woman. However, in the end, she realizes that Wentworth has never stopped loving her! Not knowing whether Anne still has feelings for him, Wentworth puts his pride on the line and expresses his love and adoration for her in a tear-jerking, awe inducing, breathtaking letter that will leave any reader weak in the knees. If you don't believe me, read this:

I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as are within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it, eight years and a half ago. Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant. You alone have brought me to Bath. For you alone, I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days, would I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You sink your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature! You do us injustice, indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating in ....F.W.

Just writing this post makes my heart long for a Wentworth of my own...oh, what a man...what a hero. I wish more authors wrote heroes like him. There are a few, but lately heroes seem to have become so...so...superficial and dull. I hope I've turned some of you on to Captain Wentworth, for he is truly delicious. PERSUASION is not as popular as PRIDE AND PREJUDICE but, in my opinion, it is by far Austen's best novel.

The Enigma that is Harriet Klausner

Ok...I don't know what Harriet Klausner is getting paid to give glowing reviews to every shitty book that hits the shelves. Is she getting a cut of Amazon profits? Avon's? No clue, but something's fishy. Some of the worst books out there get A's whenever she stumbles upon them.

For those new to reviews or even Amazon, please please please DO NOT TRUST HER AMAZON REVIEWS! I learned the hard way. I still shudder when I think of her recommended Laurens' novel ON A WICKED DAWN.

I recently found all of her reviews online...it made me sick to read them. No offense to Ms. Klausner; I guess we all have different tastes, but give me a break. I don't think she's reading the same books I am! Check out her site: http://harrietklausner.wwwi.com/

FORGIVE AND FORGET? FUCK, NO!!!

Ok...I went on to MSNBC this morning and they confirmed that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are expecting. They look like a cute couple, but I worry about Jennifer Aniston. Girl looks seriously bitter! I guess I would be, too, if my ex were dating some hot woman who was about to have his kid...which reminds me...has anyone here read Stephanie Laurens' horrendous THE PROMISE IN A KISS?

The book is a prequel to the Cynster saga and covers the "love" story between Sebastian and Helena, parents to the five million Cynsters who apparently circulate Britain in the 1800s. If I'm not mistaken, the book was not published as the first book of the series, but came out only after a few of them had already hit the stores (so it's a prequel but isn't but is...whatever...I don't know). From the earlier books, we know that douche bag Sebastian cheated on his wife Helena a few years into their marriage. Well, actually...Laurens makes it sound like charity work on Sebastian's part. He felt sorry for some widow and did her a little favor! Yeah, I'm sure that's what Joey Buttafuoco told his now ex-wife, once upon a time. Anyhoo, the pity sex spawned Scandal Cynster (I think his name is Richard) who has his own book, SCANDAL'S BRIDE. Of course, Helena, being the door mat that she is, turns the other cheek, raises the child as her own and they all live happily ever after.

Sorry, if I had to throw the book out once I realized what was going down...I once mentioned my disgust for the story on the Avon board (this was a long time ago) and got verbally attacked by a few women who claimed that cheating was a reality of life and that it happens. True, it happens, I replied, BUT NOT IN ROMANCE NOVELS!!! Are they kidding? Why would I want to read a romance novel when I know the hero will cheat on the heroine in the future? I mentioned this and this one chick's panties really got into a twist; she accused me of living on Fantasy Island and what not...whatever.

I don't mind drug abuse, alcoholism in romance novels at all...but adultery? Give me a fucking break. No thanks! I'm not exactly sure what Stephanie Laurens was thinking or what she was smoking when she came up with this plot...just seems ridiculous! That was one of the first signs she was going off the deep end. The fact that she continues to write about the Cynsters is another. Gosh, I hate that family!!! Enough already!!!

I don't get why Avon doesn't recommend (i.e. DEMAND) that Laurens put an end to the Cynsters saga. Is anyone really excited about it anymore? Avon has a duty to its authors and right now it's in breach of it. Dirt bags!!!

What the fa?

I almost passed out when I saw this picture. Yes, ladies…this is Clive Owen. What the fa? He looks like shit run over twice. What’s wrong with him? Is he depressed? Did he just get out of prison?

Clive, talk to me…talk to me.

Lisa Kleypas once said that Clive Owen was the inspiration for DREAMING OF YOU’s Derek Craven (only the best romance hero EVAAAA). Clive is not looking too good these days. He looks like the hero from Mary Jo Putney’s THE RAKE AND THE REFORMER (also called THE RAKE) after a drinking binge. So upsetting!!!

DAMN YOU AVON!

Ok…I shouldn’t really blame Avon for this, but it happened on one of their message boards, so I’m gonna do it anyway! A big rule everyone must follow when posting on a message board is alerting fellow readers of the possibility of spoilers…well, guess someone forgot this little rule, cause I just went on the Avon board, went to the subject VIRGIN HEROES and realized the hero of one of the books I have on my TBR list is a virgin…NICE! Now I don’t know if this little development will be pivotal to the story or what, but it pisses me off that I had to find out by reading it on a message board.

I’ll still read the book because it sounds pretty good, but…well, to be honest, I dislike books in which the heroes are sexually inexperienced. I don’t know why…I just detest these books (especially when out of nowhere they turn into frickin’ porn stars with all the right moves) and now I’ll subconsciously put the book at the end of my pile. I’m irritated beyond belief that I had to find out this way. I guess that’s the risk I took when I decided to peruse the various message boards, but still…argh! I’m annoyed! ARGH!

Damn you, Avon…DAMN YOU!

Secondary Characters and BEAUTY LIKE THE NIGHT

This entry might not make sense...I have a 10 minute break here at work and thought I would jot a few things down...had a rough weekend, too...family crap!

Secondary characters, at times, serve only to spice up or speed up a storyline. Although they provide comic relief or set the moral tone of the story, they never run the risk of undermining the lead characters and robbing them of the affections of the audience. On some occasions, however, secondary characters are written with such passionate zeal and love that they steal the show…quite literally and leave the reader wondering who the book was about. We’ve seen this in movies several times. Prime example? Girl Interrupted with Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie, in a supporting role…does any really remember Winona Ryder being in that movie? Angelina quite stole the show; her character was a troubled one, almost as much as Ryder’s, but Angelina’s personality and clear talent blew Winona right out of the water.

The same occurs with Carlyle’s BEAUTY LIKE THE NIGHT. The story is overrun with secondary characters who will not sit still. Bentley “Hell-Bent” Rutledge and Ariane Rutledge, the hero's younger brother and daughter, respectively, have pages dedicated to them; the reader soon becomes engrossed in their lives, she (I'm assuming the reader is female) cannot help but want to hear about them more than the lead characters, Camden and Helene.

I thought BEAUTY LIKE THE NIGHT was OK...just ok..it was not one of my favorite Carlyle books. Camden and Helene’s story was constantly being interrupted by the presence of Ariane and Bentley and I couldn’t help but want it to continue. I never developed an attachment to Camden and Helene’s love story. I wanted them to succeed in their quest for happiness but honestly…well, I almost did give a fig about them. I knew this book was in trouble when I began skimming most of their scenes because I was so enthralled by those including Bentley.

Carlyle seemed torn between wanting to give Camden and Helene “their” story and wanting to pen one for Bentley at the same exact time. We know Bentley eventually gets his story in THE DEVIL YOU KNOW but I sometimes I felt it unfair for Carlyle not to have focused her attention more on Camden and Helene. Everytime I would read a scene including Camden and Helene, I almost thought it was an afterthought on her part...I had a picture of Carlyle sitting at her computer writing about Bentley or Ariane and then realizing the book was about Camden and Helene. At times, I felt frustrated because I wanted to know more about Bentley and the true source of his anger towards his perfect brother. THE DEVIL YOU KNOW explained everything to me and, having read it before this one, I knew all there was to know about Bentley BUT I wish BEAUTY had given the reader more of a hint as to what troubled good ole “Hell-Bent.”

Unfortunately, BEAUTY LIKE THE NIGHT seems more like a prequel (a long prequel) to THE DEVIL YOU KNOW and, quite possibly to Ariane’s future story (I HOPE!!! Carlyle hasn’t revealed whether she will write Ariane’s novel…yet).

It’s not only BEAUTY LIKE THE NIGHT which contains secondary characters who steal the story. Carlyle’s George Kimbel, valet to most of her heroes, begs for a story of his own and one cannot help but be enthralled by him. Unfortunately, Carlyle has firmly stated that Kimbel will not get his own story and this saddens me because, although he may not look like the typical romance novel hero, he definitely has the personality for it.

Most writers know the harm they will be placing their lead characters in if they choose to feature a magnetic secondary character. Kleypas knows well never to make Derek Craven an integral part of any novel (besides his own, of course). Unfortunately, she made the mistake of including Lord Westcliff in A SUMMER TO REMEMBER and nearly had him and his heroine’s spats (he has his own book, IT HAPPENED IN AUTUMN) steal all the thunder (SUMMER is my least favorite Kleypas book and, honestly, I loved every minute of Westcliff in that book).

I love secondary characters, but it frustrates me when the author takes it too far and dedicates an entire book to them…that was only one of the reasons I didn’t care for BEAUTY LIKE THE NIGHT…it could have been shorter! The book is better than others I’ve read but it’s a great disappointment after NO TRUE GENTLEMAN. I would still recommend the book…it contains characters worth the read, but don’t expect a masterpiece.

Bloggers Beware

I just went on Romancing the Blog (see links – I’m still trying to figure out this whole blog business) and thought I would check out a few sites I don’t normally go on. I scrolled down the page and went to the AUTHOR BLOGS section and saw one called WICKED WOMEN. Now this is not safe for work folks…I clicked and almost had a heart attack once the image showed up. Very sexy but not at all appropriate for the corporate world (unless you work for Playboy). I’m better now…the initial shock is over.

A little birdie recommended I go to the FOG CITY DIVAS website for a feature on romance novel covers. Check it out, folks. The site is listed under links; just go to blog, once you get there. It’s a pretty good article/blog written by Candice Hern (little birdie and fellow San Franciscan), author of the award-winning ONCE A GENTLEMAN and the upcoming IN THE THRILL OF THE NIGHT (Feb’06). Thanks to Candice for letting me know about the story; I thought it was great and it got me thinking about AVON and some of their lame covers (not all, I actually like Lorraine Heath's and lately Elizabeth Boyle's covers very much). Candice Hern no longer writes for Avon; I praise the Lord for this. The cover of her new book is proof of this. I have to be honest and admit that, as much as I enjoyed her ONCE A series books, I hated the book covers. To be honest, the heroine in the ONCE A GENTLEMAN cover looks slightly sick and half asleep (the heroine was anything but). Whatever...I'm glad she (Ms. Hern) got out before it was too late.

LIZ CARLYLE'S BIG F-YOU TO AMAZON

Amazon must be fuming. Liz Carlyle, in a newsletter to her fans, announced the re-release of her impossible to get novel A WOMAN SCORNED in June 2006. First Chase’s THE LION’S DAUGHTER (released January 2006), now this. How will they ever survive this crushing blow? Old worn out copies of A WOMAN SCORNED are currently selling at more than forty big ones, an insane amount to spend for a paperback! Fans, desperate to own all of Carlyle’s works find themselves scrambling to buy this rare piece (which I haven’t read but hear is not one of her best). STILL. TODAY. EVEN THOUGH IT WILL BE SELLING FOR $7 IN JUNE. Why? You ask. Well, because no one seems to know that the book is being re-released. It’s not listed on Carlyle’s website (although, honestly, if you really are a fan, you would be signed on to her newsletter and know this already) AND, obviously, you won’t find this bit of information on Amazon when you type in the name of the book.

I am delighted that the book will be released. I love Liz Carlyle and recently finished NO TRUE GENTLEMAN, an incredible book with a delicious hero and wonderful heroine. Carlyle’s characters are honest and straight forward in their dealings with each other, something we don’t often see in romance novels (at least, not in a majority of AVON books). All I ask for when I read a romance is intelligent lead characters and Carlyle certainly delivers.

That said, I am over the mood right now. The fact that A WOMAN SCORNED will be gracing book store shelves once again is good news indeed. All that remains is the rerelease (hopefully, one day) of Lisa Kleypas’ old books, which are hard to find even on Ebay!
I’m pleased with this current trend of re-releasing old novels. With the emergence of less than stellar works by some of our favorite authors -cough…Enoch…cough…Heath- it’s nice to know we won’t have to pay a bundle for the books that made us the romance lovers we are today.

Wanted: Adventure ASAP

Ok…I tried to stay away, but I can’t. Blogging has become my new obsession. I’m at work and on my lunch break. Just finished eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and have about 20 minutes before I need to get back to work. I tend to work through my lunch, nibbling on bread as I review leases and do whatever else makes money for the company I work for. It’s all about making the rich richer, right? Welcome to America! Sorry, I think work is getting to me and I’ve only been here a few hours…gosh, I really need a good old fashioned vacation or maybe…well, lately I crave the days back when I was a child in the early 80s, when my family went on picnics every weekend in the spring and summer (whenever it was sunny, of course)…I mean, we went to Marin County all the time, sometimes even to Golden Gate Park here in San Francisco, brought along a blanket and just ate fruit, pasta, sandwiches, etc. Those were the days.

Do people go on picnics anymore? I don’t think I’ve seen a picnic table set up in years (with the exception of amusement park settings where you’re pretty much forced to bring food from home because a hot dog costs $10). It’s quite sad and it really shows how much the world has changed. Everything these days is about money; there’s little room for relaxation. What happened? When did we forget to stop, look and listen? Life is passing us by and we just work work and work these days.

I think I really need a vacation. I think it’s fairly obvious I need a LEAVE THE COUNTRY type of experience. Something exciting, different, challenging. I started saving money today. I’m determined to go to Great Britain, you see. MUST and WILL go there. Gosh, is anyone feeling this restless? I am craving an adventure. My friend, Meghan, is feeling the same way.

Oh, well…in the meantime, let me just say that I wish I were Catherine, the heroine from Carlyle’s NO TRUE GENTLEMAN. If only, I could be as bold as her…wouldn’t that be nice?!? Would be even better if Max de Rohan graced my bed..my goodness! Great book! More happier postings to follow…

I DO, TOO, HAVE A LIFE!

Believe it or not, I do have a life...lately, however, I've been too tired from work to really do anything besides read, write and sleep. The end of the year is always killer!

Since I'm off to work tomorrow (and therefore will have my brain occupied by it 'til the weekend hits), I decided to check out a few authors' websites and found this description of a new Elizabeth Boyle book, due out in August. Check it out:

HIS MISTRESS BY MORNING
When prim and proper Charlotte Wilmont inherits a ring that grants each bearer one wish, she inadvertently wishes to be the woman Sebastian Marlowe loves. And when she wakes up the next morning, she is the woman he loves . . . she's also his mistress.

Call me crazy, but it's sounds cute and I'm eager to know how Boyle will pull this one off. I can only hope this Charlotte chick isn't having some sort of "Bobby's Not Dead He's Only Taking a Shower and the an Entire Season of Dallas was a Dream" experience; Boyle would definitely be jumping the shark, if this were the case (although, honestly THIS RAKE OF MINE was a pretty big great white in itself). One never knows with Avon; they always lift my spirits and allow me to hope for great plots and endless hours of pure romance fun and then they crush all my hopes by releasing A-bombs of shit!

In any case, I do hope the book turns out to be a good one. I loved SOMETHING ABOUT EMMALINE, after all. I'll just have to wait and see. In the meantime, I am reading NO TRUE GENTLEMAN and it is quite delicious...well -I should be more specific- the hero Max de Rohan is the best piece of romantic meat since Derek Craven...gosh, he's mesmerizing! Back to reading and then bed and then...wooooooork! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Just Purchased

I'm looking forward to reading this after the rest of my Carlyle books. It received a pretty good review on AAR. Excited about reading it!


I always refrain from buying Teresa Medeiros books. I'm not exactly sure why, I just do. I once bought ONE NIGHT OF SCANDAL and didn't care for it. I went to my favorite UBS today and, having left my TO BUY list home, decided to skim the aisles. The book sounds decent from the back blurb and Medeiros books tend to get good reviews. The book's going in my TBR pile anyway. I've decided to read all my Liz Carlyle books next.

Ok...I know what you're all thinking. Why is this chick always buying books that reek of AVON? Honestly, I don't know. I needed something light and fluffy, after reading Jo Beverley (for the record, I don't dislike Jo Beverley books; I just have to be in the right mood for them and I don't think I have been recently). I've never read a Margaret Moore book; apparently, she no longer writes for AVON. It looks like a quick read, so I might just interrupt my Carlyle reading one day for it.

I looked everywhere for SCANDALOUS by Jenna Petersen. I hear it's really good. Unfortunately, it's never at the UBS...NEVER...which, come to think of it, is a very good sign! I'm going to be strong and not buy it new. After much thought and consideration, I've decided to use my BORDERS gift card towards the purchase of a few historical biographies and perhaps Loretta Chase's THE LION'S DAUGHTER (which I guarantee will be impossible to find at any UBS).

Off to work tomorrow...argh! I don't want to go!

Forbidden Magic

I'm not exactly sure what to make of Jo Beverley; her books always get great reviews and most readers tend to adore her characters. I always struggle to finish her books; they're very long and I always think they could be shorter. I recently finished her book FORBIDDEN MAGIC.

Left penniless after her parents deaths, Meg Gillingham is in dire straits. Her landlord has threatened to throw her and her siblings into the winter streets unless she surrenders her young sister to his lechery. Reluctantly, she turns for help to her only legacy: a magic statue that will grant wishes - for a price...

Meg never expects the statue to bring her a marriage proposal, especially not one from a handsome earl. But Lord Saxonhurst lives amid dark secrets, and even Meg delights in her seductive husband, she hesitates to trust him. Soon a villain will use her doubts to try to destroy their union and their lives. Now Meg must put her faith in another knd of magic - the magic of love.

The heroine must figure out a way to get out of the mess her parents' death left her in; short on funds, she in deeply in debt and has not paid her parents' friend, Sir Arthur, any rent on their cottage in months. Sir Arthur offers her a very simple solution: his help in exchange for her sister Laura. Meg is desperate, so decides to use something she promised herself she would never use: a magic family heirloom called the Sheelagh ma gig (or whatever the fuck). She makes a wish and next thing she knows an earl is asking for her hand in marriage.

The Earl of Saxonhurst is desperate to get married in order to spite his grandmother and prevent her from concocting some devilish plan to ruin his life (they don't exactly have the best relationship); he has his servants look for someone who is desperately in need of marriage; they find Meg. Soon the two are married. Meg forgets the magic statute at her old house and it's soon stolen by Sir Arthur; she doesn't tell her husband because she's afraid he'll dump her ass if he finds out (even though he insists he had to marry her because of the grandmother, she believes he'll still dump her because he'll think she tried to trick him with magic...whatever!).

The story proceeds with Meg lying through her teeth in order to get this statue back; all at the same time, the hypocrite develops a high and mighty stance and tells her husband FLAT OUT that she won't sleep with him until he makes peace with his grandmother. She wants his to be one big happy family. Argh! The back blurb is a bit misleading because it indicates that the "villian" nearly destroys the characters' marriage. This is false. The heroine did a pretty good job out of that all by her lonesome self. Her lies were really getting to me at a certain point. There's a part when she goes to visit Sir Arthur; he ends up dead somehow and everyone's looking to hang her, believing she killed him. What does she do? Does she run to her husband? NOOOOOOOOO...why would she do something crazy like that, when she can run to her husband's evil grandmother instead? I had enough of her and her reasoning and that was just the last straw for me.

Sax, the hero, won my heart. Never have I encountered a man with so many issues who's come out so remarkably well. What a delight! His interactions with his servants and his eccentric ways of dealing with anger made me laugh out loud. The fact that he really seemed to be happy with his marriage and his new family (Meg's brothers and sisters) really touched me.

Now, there were times when I liked Meg. Whenever she interacted with Sax, you could cut the sexual tension with a knife, but I really didn't appreciate her lying to him so much. It was unnecessary and I felt betrayed for him. She should have known better; everyone around her was telling her she could trust HIM and NOT HIS GRANDMOTHER, yet she never listened. Whatever...the book wasn't a complete loss. I would give it a strong B. I might one day reread it, but I think I'm done with Beverley for a bit. Her books really get me thinking...they're challenging and I love the challenge...I just wish her heroines were more likeable.

Next - another non-Avon author.

WORST BOOKS OF 2005

Almost a Bride? More like Almost a Book! Ms. Feather, please take a vacation, go on hiatus, a sabbatical, whatever will enable you to write the masterpieces I've heard, over and over again, you are supposedly capable of.

Shawshank Redemption II is not something I thought I would be reading when I purchased this book. I don't even know why AVON even bothers putting this red-headed bimbo on the cover. I wanted a romance novel, not some depressing guilt-ridden tale of a man fucked up by jail.

Over at Avon, it was Elizabeth Boyle's turn to do a Ruined Virgin Turned Teacher story in September. I would have been OK with the story had the heroine not been depicted as a useless piece of dirt. She almost got the hero arrested for murder! Why heroines like this one get heroes in the end is beyond me. I guess that's why it's called fiction (although I know plenty of real life skanks who get'em, too).

Could you ever in your wildest dreams imagine yourself asking your brother how to have sex? Well, imagine no longer...experience it in this novel, quite possibly the most asinine I've read this year.

Hero was a major stud in the books leading up to this one. However, Julianne MacLean decided that she had to castrate him and remove his balls once she gave him a book. What a wimp he turned out to be! And Lily? Girl pretty much forced him to marry her. Pathetic!

I'm confused....wasn't this supposed to be Hyacinth's romance? I don't recall reading a love story.

JUST ONE TOUCH...that's pretty much what this book got from me. I skimmed it because it was so bad. I have no plot recollection. Thanks, Avon!

Happy New Year

Happy New Year to Everyone! I never did go to my parents' friends' place. Ended up doing my own thing. In any case, I'm still awake and I thought I would look up an author who debuted in 2005 (wow...I still can't believe it's 2006!): Lisa Valdez.

The author's debut novel was PASSION, which I consider one of the best books of 2005. PASSION is the first book in a quartet. Passion is the heroine of the first book; Patience and Primrose, her sisters, each have their own book as well. After playing around with the computer a bit, I learned from THE ROMANCE READER that "PATIENCE and PRIMROSE are scheduled for release June, 2006 and January, 2007." Valdez then plans on ending the series with CHARLOTTE. I don't remember there being a Charlotte in her first book; I don't know if she's a sister or cousin or friend or what. I'll have to reread PASSION and figure that one out.

Apparently, once the PASSION quartet is completed, Valdez plans on writing a Georgian romance, entitled THE RED RIBBON, "a stand alone book featuring an icy heroine by the name of Olivia Winterton, a charming and devil-may-care hero, James Markham, and a villainess, Marie de L'Amboise." Sounds like this author knows exactly what she's doing. She definitely doesn't seem to be suffering from any writers' block.

The fact that a romance novelist would provide this much information about future books is astonishing. I hate to say this but it's hard to get anything out of certain writers these days and by "certain writers" I'm referring to Julia Quinn; her novels are always surrounded by a shroud of secrecy ala Harry Potter. I hope her last Bridgerton book merits the secrecy because Hyacinth's story was, without a doubt, the worst book of 2005 (list to come).

Well, I better get back to the champagne and then B-E-D. Good night and happy 2006!

2005's Top Books

I don't think I've ever read a novel like this one. There was a lot of sex, a lot of language I didn't expect in a romance novel. The book was controversial (to say the least). AAR boards had threads dedicated to the book. A lot of readers didn't appreciate Valdez use of the C-word (among other things). Whatever...I didn't mind it because it fit the hot, sweaty and forbidden sex the lead characters were engaging in. The book is something that needs to be experienced. A review doesn't do it justice. All I can say is that I can't wait to see what else the author has in store. PASSION is the first of a quartet, after all AND the author's debut novel. Not bad!!!

This book introduced me to Elizabeth Boyle. Far superior than THIS RAKE OF MINE.

A lot of people don't like this book; I'm not exactly sure why. Personally, I loved seeing the heroine, a sudo-villian in previous books, fall in love before my eyes. The hero is dreamy and engaging. Loved it!

Excellent! I really enjoyed this one. A definite keeper!

I had never heard of Karen Ranney before this book (believe it or not). I thoroughly enjoyed this Cyrano-like novel. The sex scenes between the two characters were steamy!!!

I admit it...I love Lisa Kleypas, so I might be a little biased. I think she is one of the few Avon authors who is consistent in her writing. Not all of them are perfect but they definitely do not fall into Stephanie Laurens territory (i.e. BORING!!!). This book was the second in her Wallflower series; the first one, A SUMMER TO REMEMBER, lacked luster because of the obnoxious heroine in need of a maiming, but it was a lot better than most books out in circulation (by other authors, of course).

I love this new series by Sabrina Jeffries. The heroes were alpha, just as I like'em. Yummy!

I wanted a night with him, as well.


Loretta Chase's Mr. Impossible is quite possibly the BEST book of the lot. The characters were funny, intelligent and the Egyptian backdrop definitely made the story one I look forward to rereading again and again!

2005 was a year in which I purchased several books but didn't quite get to read them all. I focused, for the most part, on books published in earlier years. In 2006, I hope to read most of my TBR books. I will continue to buy but will definitely work on establishing some sort of book budget for myself, so I don't go berserk each time I enter a UBS or Barnes and Noble.

Happy 2006!!!

Northern California Rocks and Rolls

It's New Year's Eve and it won't stop raining. California is being hit by a major storm and it looks like some homes might seriously begin to rock and roll soon. I hope not, but California isn't exactly known for stable ground. Whether it's an earthquake or a mudslide, we're always guaranteed a bit of "excitement," if you want to call it that. I want it to stop already.

I don't mind being single (yes, this was a very abrupt change of topic)...I really don't. I like having my independence and I know that one day I will meet my hero, despite the fact that finding a good man has become harder than a game of Where's Waldo. I notice it mostly when I spend time with my parents. They're trying to understand how I could be single. How is that possible? Why am I single? Why have I not found anyone? Why don't I smile more often? Why aren't I nicer to men? Why? Why? Beat me! Why? Why? Beat me! Why? I know MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING was really a spin off of my life and it should have been called MY MEDDLING ITALIAN PARENTS!

I don't know why I'm still single. Every guy I've dated has been a douche bag to me and now I have become a bit more selective. I won't date anyone and I certainly would never sleep with just about anyone (as my mother, whose desperation has finally taken hold of her, suggested during the holidays). I don't discriminate...younger men, older men..fine! I don't care really. I'm not really that much into looks. Of course, I need to be attracted to my man physically but sense of humor and intelligence are far more important to me AND...well, I hate to say this but most of the men I've met lately are less than stellar in that department. The story here gets better.

Tonight, since most of my friends are scattered throughout the country, with most of them in NY and the others in LA or newly married (and you know those could very well be in Zimbabwe for all you see'em), I decided to spend a nice, quiet New Year's Eve home with my family. I just wanted to relax, watch a good movie, maybe even read a good book. My plans were shattered when my folks told me they were invited to spend the evening at their friends' house. I thought...OK, FINE. I'LL JUST SPEND THE EVENING AT HOME AND DO WHAT I WAS PLANNING ON DOING ANYWAY. Well, no...doesn't work that way in Italian families apparently because they now insist (i.e. demand through emotional blackmail) I come with them because they don't want me to be home alone. It would take a few blog pages to fully detail why I now feel obligated to join them in an evening which will be FUN for them but TORTURE for me. My mother, who is now going through her "change of life," freaks out over the most insignificant things. When I insisted I was going to stay home and just "chill out," she flipped and said I was ruining her life. Yeah...we women have a lot to look forward to when we hit a certain age. My challenge for this new year is finding a place to travel to next year this time. Believe you me, single or coupled, I won't be spending it here being tortured by well meaning, yet meddling parents.

On a bright note, I figured out how to work the blog sidebar. Special thanks to Kristie from the awesome RAMBLINGS ON ROMANCE for helping me out with this one. She suggested reading Nicole's BLOG HAPPY. I have a long way to go with figuring out the ins and outs of blogging, but I'm getting there.

I'm reading FORBIDDEN MAGIC and I can already tell it's going to be incredible. I couldn't stop laughing yesterday when I started it. The hero is so funny and, damn, so sexy! I wish I were the heroine!

Help!

I need help with sidebars! Every blog I read has book covers posted on the side. How do I do that? Blogger is no help! Please help!!!

Throw the Girl a Condom

Life's too short to spend it reading a horrendous romance novel. I normally force myself to finish a book, even a bad one, because 'til the end I believe the author's going to surprise me with some clever twist or breathtaking declaration of love. Tonight I wasn't feeling so kind and stopped reading before I broke out in hives.

It was mentioned that I read a lot of Avon, despite the fact that I hate them so much. True...true..I do...I can't help it because, deep down, I enjoy many of their authors' past works and I always hope I'll be rewarded in the future. However, I decided to distance myself from Avon for a bit and I picked up a book I purchased about a year ago at the local Walmart. I should have just stopped myself right there and watched JERSEY GIRL starring Jami Gertz instead. The book? TEMPORARY MISTRESS by Susan Johnson.

The book is essentially about an heiress who, at the death of her grandfather, finds herself forced to marry her fat cousin Harold; she escapes the clutches of her greedy relatives and finds herself on the doorstep of a splendid mansion which turns out to be one of London's infamous brothels. The heroine spills her guts to the madam and soon a plan is concocted by the two. THE ONLY THING THAT WILL SPARE HER A MARRIAGE TO HER COUSIN AND EXTREME UNHAPPINESS IS RUIN! Yep, the heroine's got to lose her virginity and be publicly shamed in order for her relatives to steer clear from her. I honestly didn't get how this would work, but whatever. The heroine and madam soon pick the Earl of Bathurst, our hero, to help with such a task. Tough job!

The book's premise, believe it or not, really struck me as having potential. I really thought I would be given more insight into the characters' thought process...oh, and a plot...yes, I thought Susan Johnson would give me a plot also. No such luck!!! The heroine went from virgin to slut in no time and even spied the hero getting a blow job from a whore. After the deflowering (which was really boring, by the way), there's the predictable separation. The wonderful hero then proceeds to have sex with every woman in sight. PIG!!! The guy must have been taking VIAGRA or something...it was nuts! The Earl's "talents" were too much to bear.

For my own sanity, I had to put it away after about 135 pages or so. I almost wanted to save the heroine from this perverted nymphomaniac and toss her a few condoms (cause you know they didn't use any). I seriously saw them both expiring from the "French pox" or some other sexually transmitted disease. And the more I thought about how many women he had been with, the more my imagination ran wild. I soon began having flashbacks of college microbiology and the images of herpes, syphillis and all the other yummy STDs.

Sorry, this book is disgusting AND the characters are complete morons. The hero has no sense of loyalty to the heroine. I don't see this being a realistic depiction of love. We had a man soooooooo in love with a woman that he decides to sleep with everything in sight? I'm sorry but if that's love...well, I want none of it.

If you want a good sex-filled book, with plenty of romance and true love, read PASSION by Lisa Valdez.

If you want to be turned off love and sex for life, be my guest and read TEMPORARY MISTRESS. I look forward to trading it in for another book at my UBS tomorrow. Believe me, I would love to throw it in the garbage and spare another soul, but I really need the book money.

THE REDEMPTION OF GAYLE CALLEN

Not too long ago, I had the displeasure of reading THE LORD NEXT DOOR by Gayle Callen. It was my first Callen book; the premise was inviting and I thought I would enjoy it. I had heard from a friend that Callen was a pretty good writer. Several book review sites confirmed this. However, after reading the aforementioned, I was seriously beginning to believe that, like Calvin Coolridge, my friend and the reviewers from ALL ABOUT ROMANCE were smoking some serious crack when they recommended this author.

Having finished my second Callen book (I had to give her another chance, in the event THE LORD was merely a fluke), I am pleased to say that I will not throw the towel in on Callen just yet. HIS BRIDE is a book that will quite possibly remain on my keeper list for some time. The love story is poignant and sexy. The hero, Sir Edmund Blackwell, is a hard working, no nonsense type of man who's been hurt in life but does not drown himself in self-misery, like some romance heroes (Jered from UPON A WICKED TIME..douce bag!). The heroine is strong, warm, passionate and very very aggressive, despite her innocence. The aggressive virgin act was endearing. It didn't irritate the crap out of the reader. I totally identified with her. Here we had a girl who desperately wanted to consummate her marriage; she's attracted beyond belief to her husband and he's...well, he's sleeping in another room because he's afraid to trust her because he thinks she's being used to ruin him (read the story; this actually makes sense and I might think the same thing, if I were the hero). She literally throws herself at him at a certain point and it's BELIEVABLE, REALISTIC, especially at a time when women couldn't just say FUCK YOU, IF YOU WON'T DO ME, YOUR LOSS. I'LL FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL.

The book held no whining, no hurtful behavior at the hands of the hero, all plot lines that tend to irritate the reader rather than captivate them. The story focused exclusively on the growing relationship of the two main characters and what characters they were. WOW! What a concept! I highly recommend this book. If one wants to start reading Callen, please please please begin with HIS BRIDE, an A!

Re-reads are next on my list: SUDDENLY YOU by Lisa Kleypas and A SUMMER TO REMEMBER by Mary Balogh.

2006 in Books

JANUARY
2 Little Lies - Liz Carlyle
Don't Look Down - Suzanne Enoch
The Lion's Daughter - Loretta Chase

FEBRUARY
Pride and Petticoats - Shana Galen
Lady of Sin - Madeline Hunter
Never Seduce a Scoundrel - Sabrina Jeffries
In the Thrill of the Night - Candice Hern

MARCH
Three Little Secrets - Liz Carlyle
Lord Perfect - Loretta Chase
Her Master and Commander - Karen Hawkins
Devil in Winter - Lisa Kleypas
Portrait of a Lover - Julianne MacLean

APRIL
Promise Me Forever - Lorraine Heath
His Wicked Kiss - Gaelen Foley
The Taming of the Duke - Eloisa James
Angel in My Bed - Melody Thomas
The Bachelor Trap - Elizabeth Thorton

MAY
Duke of Scandal - Adele Ashworth
What to Wear to a Seduction - Sari Robins (maybe...I find the premise intriguing)

JUNE
She's No Princess - Laura Lee Guhrke
Her Officer and Gentleman - Karen Hawkins
Patience - Lisa Valdez

JULY
The Duke in Disguise - Gayle Callen (only UBS or library)
On the Way to the Wedding - Julia Quinn (I hate the title!!!)
Be Mine Tonight - Kathryn Smith

AUGUST
Simply Love - Mary Balogh
Never a Lady - Jacquie D'Alessandro
Lady Rogue - Suzanne Enoch
Only a Duke Will Do - Sabrina Jeffries
From London with Love - Jenna Petersen
Just One of Those Flings - Candice Hern
Patience - Lisa Valdez (author of Passion)
His Mistress by Morning - Elizabeth Boyle

SEPTEMBER
TBD

OCTOBER
The Secret Passion of Simon Blackwell - Samantha James

NOVEMBER
Scandal in Spring - Lisa Kleypas

DECEMBER
TBD

JANUARY 2007
Primrose - Lisa Valdez

Books I still need to get from 2005 - Jenna Petersen's SCANDALOUS and Enoch's AN INVITATION TO SIN (which, to be honest, I almost don't want to get because I hated SIN AND SENSIBILITY so much).

Jealous Heroes

I'm on a mission. I must find a book with a jealous hero...someone who initially rejects his woman but then wants her back and flips out when he sees her being romanced by another, whom she is seriously considering marrying (obviously not because she loves this other dude, but because she has to marry someone). I often run across many books in which the heroine approaches the hero's mistress or ex-mistress or whatever, but I don't think I've ever read a book in which the hero goes all RAMBO on his love's would be (in his mind) lover. I need help!

I'm currently reading Gayle Callen's HIS BRIDE, which is a lot better so far than her recent THE LORD NEXT DOOR (do yourself a favor and don't read it, please!). So far I'm reading a very BEEN THERE DONE THAT plot line, but I won't give up on it because it seems to have potential AND, despite all my whining about online reviews sometimes giving me the shaft with their ARE THEY KIDDING ME? reviews, All About Romance gave it a good score. Supposedly the story is very character driven and the author focuses on the relationship between the lead characters. Yes, imagine that! No mysteries, spies and irksome subplots! What a concept!

The book is AVON, so anything's possible.

AVON STRIKES AGAIN

Ok...I know it's Christmas and I should probably put aside my distaste for AVON, BUT I can't. I have to point out my theory as to why D'Alessandro's RED ROSES MEAN LOVE was an A+ and her later novel WHO WILL TAKE THIS MAN? was a total stinker, an F-, if that's at all possible. I can sum it up with one word: AVON. RED ROSES was published by Dell and WHO WILL TAKE THIS MAN? is D'Alessandro's first book with AVON. Coincidence? I think not. AVON promotes the existence of mentally challenged heroines in romance novels! Those who don't adhere to their standards, the "rebel authors" (e.g. Lisa Kleypas), end up getting punished by having their books postponed (yes, I'm still irked about DEVIL IN WINTER! SO?), among other things! I anticipate the days of an author whistleblowing their asses!!! Ok, perhaps I'm going overboard here. I'm just trying to understand why authors tend to deteriorate once they hit AVON (again with the exception of Kleypas and Julia Quinn to a certain extent).

Kathryn Caskie has just signed on with AVON. Let's just hope she remains strong and doesn't fall victim to the AVON Talent Vacuum!

It's Christmas and...

my family is all downstairs playing cards (I'm horrible at that, to be honest) and I'm up here trying to decide what book to read. I brought over a bunch of books and I have no clue whatsoever what to read. I want to finish THE KITE RUNNER, but I'm in the mood for a naughty book, so that one's just gonna have to wait. I recently finished reading UPON A WICKED TIME by Karen Ranney. Oh, God...OMG...I hated it! I couldn't get over how much I wanted to beat the shit out of the book's "hero" (term seriously being used lightly) Jered. WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG!!! The heroine had some definite balls on her (more than the hero, I might add) for a great part of the book, but then at the end of the book she just forgives him for ever shitty (sorry for the poor vocabulary, but I am not only recovering from Christmas food coma, but I'm also very angry I spent a few hours reading this SHIT hoping it would get good!) thing he's every done to her and, believe you me, he did a lot. I mean, would anyone with a brain ever forgive a guy who:

1) took her to some sex club and then fucked her against some serious STD tainted wall?
2) kissed his whore of a mistress in front of her over and over and over again?
3) dumps her the night AFTER he pops her cherry in his home in the country with a bunch of strangers AND goes off to London to hang out with sluts and idiot buddies?

Yeah, most intelligent women would answer NO to that question, but Tessa, the heroine, after displaying a good set of cajones throughout much of the book, forgives him and makes love to him JUST LIKE THAT!!! MORON! I would not recommend this book to anyone; it's was something that, after a while, started resembling an episode of the Maury Povich Show.

In any case, now I'm trying to decide on a book. It's down to Gayle Callen's HIS BRIDE or a reread of Kleypas' SUDDENLY YOU. Choosing the latter would probably be a smart decision. I've read SUDDENLY and love the book; on the other hand, after Callen's THE LORD NEAR DOOR which put me to sleep, I really want to give this author a chance to redeem herself. I'm leaning towards Callen's book.

Let's hope the book's not as bad as Ranney's.

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays to all who read my blog. It's been a crazy year. I end this year with no love in my life, but I am not worried. I know HE will show up on my doorstep one day. It's hard during the holidays, as I get older, to not have someone in my life. I love my family, but I think I've reached a point where I want my own...does that make any sense? In the meantime, my exes are all getting married or engaged...all douche bags who probably deserve to be alone for the rest of their lives. And I? Well, I'm still looking for that special someone (I keep getting asked out by men I have no interest in; I say NO...what's the point?). I've been called picky and perhaps I am, but I've learned in life that it's ok to have high standards, especially when you're dealing with a little something called love and so...with the new year about to hit, I can only hope and pray for the love I read about in romance novels. I know he won't be perfect; I'm not either. Where is he? When will I meet him? These thoughts sound almost childish but I can't help but think them. Again, this year I ask, "WHERE'S MY HERO?"

What Would You Do?

What would you do if you met a sexy studly intelligent rich funny witty amazing considerate compassionate loving affectionate man who loved you desperately and wanted to marry you, despite you being the most fucked up person in the world?

Would you:

a) reject him; tell him you don't love him, even though you do;
b) try to get him to marry someone you deem more suitable to him (even though again you are madly in love with him);
c) marry him on the spot and live happily ever after;
d) both a and b.

Well, if you're Meredith Chilton-Grizdale, the heroine from Jacquie D'Alessandro's WHO WILL TAKE THIS MAN?, you will choose d.

Now, let me tell you all something..I hated this woman. HATED HATED and HATED her; I couldn't for the life of me understand why the hero loved her; she was irritating beyond belief and I honestly wanted him at one point to tell her to fuck off.
The hero, on the other hand, Phillip, was a dream come true...so incredibly sensual...a true gentleman and maybe that was the problem. The heroine needed a true beating. Eventually she saw the light and accepted him but it took a while. She had to admit her feelings at a certain point and I've noticed that D'Alessandro's characters tend to be somewhat honest with one another about that sort of thing, but...argh! It was so frustrating to read this woman's inner thoughts; her self-esteem or lack thereof was unnerving.

I won't let this book stop me from reading other books by this author. I was warned by other reviews that this book was a frustrating one, but I had to read it. It's the first in a series! In any case, I'm glad it's over and I'm looking forward to the next one: LOVE AND THE SINGLE HEIRESS. I hear it's pretty good. Wish me luck!

BTW: Today I'm not annoyed with Avon; I've been too busy at work (on my lunch break right now) to even let them get to me.

Currently Reading...

I really got into Jacquie D'Alessandro books after reading RED ROSES MEAN LOVE. WHO WILL TAKE THIS MAN? is the first in a series of friends and siblings. I like the book so far...not quite done. I love that her characters don't hide their feelings from one another. It's refreshing...and yes, it's an AVON book. I can't seem to help buying Avon authors' books, despite my hatred for the publishing company. I may find the tactics used by Avon deplorable, but I can't help but fall in love with the characters its authors create...at least, not the ones they created before Avon got greedy, stopped editing and started postponing their books (I know it doesn't make sense to me either).

I Can't Wait Til These Books Are Out!!!

I didn't care much for the last MacLean book, LOVE ACCORDING TO LILY. The love story was overshadowed by a good case of the hero's hypocondria and the heroine's serious need of a slap in the face. However, I was intrigued by Annabelle and Magnus, so I'm eager to read their story. I only hope MacLean doesn't fuck it up like she did the last.

Yes, me like...me like very much! I've enjoyed most of Loretta Chase's books. The only one that disappointed me was MISS WONDERFUL and I'll just blame that one on brain fever having affected Chase's writing abilities at the time. MR. IMPOSSIBLE, Book 2 of her new Carsington brothers' series, was a masterpiece. Funny beyond belief! The characters exuded sex appeal and animal magnetism all around. Now, the 3rd book in the series awaits us in March. I can't wait!!!

A book I have been looking everywhere for and it's now being republished. Miracles do happen! I've very eager to read this prequel to LORD OF SCOUNDRELS. Very eager, as a matter of fact. Glad my Chase collection will be complete. Coming out in January, it is a well deserved, albeit late, Christmas gift.

Galen's second Avon book is one I've been looking forward to reading since I finished the first in her series WHEN DASHING MET DANGER. PRIDE's hero is introduced in that book as a dandy of the first order, a complete fop, but appearances can be deceiving. Find out why...I cannot wait for it.

Ok...I still haven't read the first book in Carlyle's new series. I hear it's really bad...really bad, but one never knows...a few reviewers hated DEVIL TO PAY and I loved it, so anything's possible. Of course, being the Carlyle fanatic I am, this book is just an auto-buy for me. I just hope the title isn't merely a hint at the quality of the novel.

I've read an excerpt for this book and it sounds good...not great...just...well...good! Gulp! However, since it is the first book to the eagerly anticipated ONLY A DUKE WILL DO featuring Simon and Louisa from Jeffries PRINCE series (really you just have to read this one...very good!), I have to buy it.

I think the two hot bodies on the cover say it all...it looks hot! I'm getting palpitations just looking at the hero's back...my, oh, my...the book covers the love story of Tom and Lauren, who have been mentioned in nearly every Heath book, but have always been relegated to Wallflower status, despite the heavy potential for romance glory. Finally (THANK GOD), Heath has penned a book for these two lovers. Heath is generally an excellent writer. However, her last book, A MATTER OF TEMPTATION, left a lot to be desired. To put it bluntly, IT SUCKED!!! I have a feeling this one won't. Just a hunch! Fans have waited too long for Tom and Lauren's story. Lorraine Heath will not want to disappoint and Avon? Well, let's just say they wouldn't want to incite their fans to violence by approving for publication a piece of shit, especially since they're still fuming over the postponement of Kleypas' DEVIL IN WINTER, due in March!

I WAS RIGHT

I think I mentioned in a previous post that I HATED Elizabeth Boyle's THIS RAKE OF MINE. Well, AAR agrees with me. Check out the review: http://www.likesbooks.com/cgi-bin/bookReview.pl?BookReviewId=5429

To Buy or Not to Buy

This book sounds good...really good. I've never read Eloisa James before, but I am intrigued...definitely intrigued. A friend told me she's an incredible author and I should give her a shot. I want to. I'm going to hold off on buying the book full price because 1) I hate Avon and am sick of them swindling fans with their deplorable tactics, and 2) I'm broke. This is the second book in a series about 4 sisters (which Avon will drag out for a few years), so I'm going to have to buy the first book. I think it's called MUCH ADO ABOUT YOU or something like that.

Again, another series book. Book 2, to be exact AND, yet again, surprisingly, it's another AVON book (they sure love the cash cow series books have become). I hated the first book in Enoch's series, SIN AND SENSIBILITY. Again, HATED IT!!! It was boring; the hero was a moron and the heroine...argh! I honestly think she was mentally challenged. I hope the 2nd book is better than the first (I can't imagine it being worse, but Avon authors are always full of surprises). I love Suzanne Enoch books, so you can imagine how I felt when I read her last book and realized that she might have become another victim of the Avon curse (bad editing, asinine plot, no character development, etc). I really hope AN INVITATION TO SIN is a winner; I haven't read too many kudos on the Avon board as of late, so it's possible it sucks and no one's willing to say it outright. In any case, I'm not paying the full price for the reasons already given above AND because I don't want to spend more than $7 on book I'll only skim through.

This is a new author for me. I own a few of her books; however, they're all sitting in my TBR pile, so I don't quite know if she's the one for me. The book has received good reviews. I have been tempted, despite the precarious state of my December finances (Christmas and bills are killing me this month), to buy the book but each time I get the itch, I remember Callen's THE LORD NEXT DOOR (see past posts). Hmmm...something to think about.

Any advice???

The Sexiest Couple

I'm still trying to figure out ways to post books covers; it's frustrating because I always get an x or some error message. I don't understand how the other bloggers do it. I follow the directions given. In any case, here is the couple I picture whenever I read a romance novel. They're the characters from Stephanie Laurens' (AVON AUTHOR GONE BAD) Scandal's Bride, a surprisely good book. Enjoy!


http://www.romancebookcovers.com/photos05/photoPage62.html

Gayle Callen's THE LORD NEXT DOOR is the new Melatonin!

Gayle Callen's THE LORD NEXT DOOR took me completely by surprise...the book was not what I expected it to be. I expected to read a sexy, well-written romance novel. Instead, I got an excruciatingly boring, sexually frustrating piece of crap that ended a week long streak of insomnia. This book upset me...it really did. It had so much potential. The premise from Callen's site goes a little like this:

"To rescue her family from financial ruin, lovely Victoria Shelby has no choice but to marry. Her options for a bridegroom are limited...until she remembers the shy servant boy next door.Then she discovers that her childhood friend is actually Viscount Thurlow--ruthless businessman, future earl, and a man whose family is shrouded in scandal.
After two rejected marriage proposals, David Thurlow needs a wife who will give him an heir, someone who will not only overlook his past but also be above reproach. Victoria is the ideal candidate--quiet, unassuming, and in desperate need of funds. But even as she strives to be the perfect wife, David's slow heated lessons in the art of seduction threaten to transform a "convenient" marriage into a torrid and passionate affair."

Sounds good, doesn't it? That's what I thought....well, needless to say the book was anything but. It has so much potential...so much potential, but nothing is done with it. Victoria is an idiot with no fire in her belly; she drowns in passivity. She's the least aggressive person you'll ever meet. There is no spunk to her, no feisty attitude. She's a cold fish. I cannot say enough about her. As for David's "slow heated lessons in the art of seduction," well, they've got the slow right! SLOW and BORING! The marriage turned torrid and passionate only after 250 pages. The book, mind you, is 300. What a waste! I won't buy another Callen book, but I will give her another chance...call me stupid! This time it's all about the library!

Brain Fever

I must be suffering from brain fever. I've been hearing a lot about it lately. Novel after novel, hero after hero...it's all "brain fever this" and "brain fever that." Brain fever is IN! Everyone who's anyone has it. I have no idea what the hell it is, but I'm assuming it has a little to do with insanity...if that's the case, then I was definitely suffering from it yesterday when I set foot into Waldenbooks and purchased a full priced romance novel. The book is Gayle Callen's THE LORD NEXT DOOR.

I still cannot believe I bought the book...I saw it, read the premise and HAD to buy it. Nothing could stop me. Of course, I immediately had to start it the minute I got home. I'm currently on page 100 and...well, it's an OK book so far. OK because nothing spicy has happened and the heroine seems too naive and accepting for her own good. The hero, I like; he's got so much potential, but if the book doesn't improve I will have to reconsider reading another Gayle Callen book. I guess it just strikes me as very predictable. Ok, so I haven't finished it which probably doesn't really give me the right to give the book a scathing review. I have 200 pages left and it may very well turn out to be a masterpiece with a slow drawn out beginning (i.e. MIDDLEMARCH, which I hated for the first 200 pages, but then quickly loved). It's just that I can easily predict who her next two books are going to be about; believe me, it's fairly obvious where her next books are headed...even the plot. I kid you not. Very very obvious. Once more, AVON used Font Number 16 for the book, which makes me feel even more cheated. I hope I have a better tale tomorrow once I finish the book. In any case, at this point I can only blame my purchase on brain fever. Let's hope it doesn't affect me again.

UBS Heaven

Today I went to my favorite UBS and managed to come out with a few goodies:

THE RAKE AND THE REFORMER, Mary Jo Putney (which I've actually read as THE RAKE, but I thought I would get the original...excellent condition, by the way).

WHO WILL TAKE THIS MAN?, Jacquie D'Alessandro, an author I now LOVE thanks to RED ROSES MEAN LOVE, a MUST NOT MISS book. Very good and no silly misunderstandings or brain dead heroines to ruin it all.

BRAZEN ANGEL, Elizabeth Boyle

FORBIDDEN MAGIC, Jo Beverley, which my friend Janet (who is as much of a romance lover as I am...maybe even more) highly recommended.

THE PERFECT WALTZ, Anne Gracie, which I now don't have to buy full price.

THE PROPERTY OF A GENTLEMAN, Helen Dickson. I have no clue whether this book will be a masterpiece or a dud. I've never heard of it. It's a Harlequin historical with a plot I haven't run into in a while (dad bequeaths his property to his business partner, but only if he marries his daughter...daughter is outraged; they marry in name only, blah blah blah). It'll be interesting to see how this author handles it.

I'm very glad I have new books; I always am, which is seriously making me wonder. I've always gotten pleasure from reading...is that really all it takes? Am I trying to escape reality (which isn't too exciting these days, believe me)? I don't know...I'm just happy I have new books to add to my TBR pile. I think I might need to do something with my dining room...I really want to turn it into a library/office. I don't really eat in it anyway. It's just me, myself and I, with dinner usually consisting of some grilled chicken or buckwheat noodles in front of the TV and then B-E-D. Ok, enough I'm starting to depress myself...new books...woo hoo!

I've Had Enough

Mary Balogh's SIMPLY LOVE, Book 2 in her Simply series, was initially scheduled for an April 2006 release. When I first heard of this, I was beyond upset. I felt like Dell, Balogh's publishing company, was trying to pull an Avon on fans and was I right!!! Going through my various e-mails, I noticed one from the Mary Balogh message board to which I subscribe. SIMPLY LOVE has been postponed...to AUGUST...AUGUST? AUGUST? Are they fucking kidding me? August? Honestly, at this point I don't even remember who the book's about, what the point of the series is and why I would even care to buy a book published as a hardcover (did I forget to mention this?) a year and a half after the first of the series. Are they kidding?

Mary Balogh admits the publishers believe they will make more money in August. I admire her honesty...I really do and I love her...truly...her books are amazing. However, her last book, the first in the Simply series was appropriately named SIMPLY UNFORGETTABLE. If this next one isn't good, I honestly don't know if I'll be so keen on waiting for the following one. I'm annoyed!!!

In other news, the mystery of Judith Ivory has been solved...sorta...she's currently working on a new series set to grace book stores whenever AVON decides to release them. I'm not holding my breath.

AGAIN?

I read the same plots all the time. It's frustrating. The following is a list of the most recent (and common):

1. I thought you were hot, kissed you, was discovered by my parents in a compromising position, became ruined as a result, shunned by society, thrown out of my house, forced to become a teacher at a YOUNG LADIES OF THE TON school and now, 10 years later, meet you at said school, where your niece/sister is a student. We fight, make love, fight, break up, and finally get together after what feels like a zillion years (for the reader).

2. I promised my dead soldier friend that I would take care of his sister. I go to his home, meet her, fall in love, but refuse to admit it. You refuse to believe I might love you because you think everything I do is dictated by the promise I made to your brother. Ending is same as #1.

3. I need a bride; you need a husband...we agree it'll be a marriage in name ONLY. We are attracted to one another though, which is good, but it's only lust. I'll even sleep with you day and night...monster sex marathons. I'll be possessive and jealous of anyone who looks at you, but love? Nah, not for me. You see I'm traumatized because my mother was a ho and treated me shabbily. I cannot love and I never will; I don't want to be like my mother; I don't deserve love. I don't.

4. We're caught in a compromising position. We marry. Lots of misunderstandings. I'm a rake, unwilling to admit I'm in love. You're a bluestocking. You want your independence and will not forgo it to a man. You love helping the less fortunate, especially prostitutes. I hate it because I'm a duke and if anyone were to find out that my duchess does this, then I would be ruined and lose my place in Parliament or lose the respect of my peers. Whatever...eventually I end up financing a home for these tramps!

I don't mind these storylines...I really don't. Some authors take them and deliver a masterpiece...others though butcher them beyond belief. It's with these authors that I have issues. My personal favorite is the redeemed villain which tends to take on different plot twists. He's never truly evil, just misunderstood. I'm still waiting for an author to redeem a truly evil villain. I guess I'll just have to keep my fingers crossed.

Books to Read

I probably have over 100 books in my Romance TBR pile (I have more in my other genre pile). I don't know how it started, but somehow I always seemed to run out of books to read, so I started roaming the various sites online and now I find myself having too many. The fact that I hardly have the energy and the time to read the books doesn't help.

I started reading THE KITE RUNNER, a non-romance, over 2 weeks ago. It's an amazing book, but I keep on putting it down for some reason or another. I must finish it this week.

I also need to start reading my Balogh TBR pile. A friend couldn't believe I had so many Balogh books left unread. I can't either...I was obsessed at one point with getting all of them (not there yet, but coming close), so I'm quite surprised that once I got'em I just put them aside, in a corner, left to collect dust.

So, I've decided to set some goals for myself:
1. Finish THE KITE RUNNER
2. Finish Kathryn Smith's INTO TEMPTATION
3. Begin Balogh's DANCING WITH CLARA and THE PRECIOUS JEWEL.

Pretty lofty goals, if I may say so myself. This week is a busy one for me. I need a vacation in which all I do is read, sleep, eat, and read!

It Better Be Good

On a recent Avon board post, Julia Quinn responded to a fan's request for some tidbits on her last Bridgerton book. Ms. Quinn stated that if she were to respond to such a question, she would never finish writing the book. Now I have a few comments to make. First of all, she's still writing it? The book is supposedly (with Avon you just never know) out in June 2006; shouldn't she have a rough draft by now? I'm not part of the publishing world, so I have no idea what the deadlines are and what not, but I can't help but recall the same response being given back when Hyacinth's story, IT'S IN HIS KISS, was being written. The book was...IS...a disaster! No character development, no sexual tension. It had to be one of the worst books I read this year.

What happened to Julia Quinn? What happened to the author who created the dreamy Anthony Bridgerton??? Recently, I had the immense pleasure of rereading THE VISCOUNT WHO LOVED ME and I cannot help but think that the Quinn who wrote THE VISCOUNT and the one who wrote IIHK are two different people. THE VISCOUNT WHO LOVED ME was funny, poignant, sexy...it was everything a romance reader wants in a book. IIHK didn't even come close...not by a long shot. IT'S IN HIS KISS struck me more as a book in its development stage than one in its completed state.

Where am I going with this? I suppose I'm annoyed at the fact that some of my favorite authors no longer do it for me. Back when I first started reading Quinn, I went to all the bookstores in my county, just to find all of her books. Today, I'm not even excited about the last Bridgerton, Gregory. I guess I'm expecting another bullshit book that I'll end up keeping only because it's part of a set.

It's no secret that several Avon writers seem to have developed a cut and paste writing style, as of late. Nothing they write is groundbreaking or original. Errors run rampant in their books, either with timeline, character names getting mixed up, or spelling errors. (Now, I understand authors' can't catch it all, but that's why they've got editors. If I'm spending $7.99 on a book, I expect spelling perfection)

Today, the more they write, the more they disappoint. To sum it up in a few words: STEPHANIE LAURENS, JOHANNA LINDSEY (not Avon writer, but she sucks so much, so deserves a mention), JULIA QUINN.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Overcooked

The Avon message boards are boring me to death lately. As expected, no one ever responded to my query regarding Judith Ivory. I’m not surprised. I did manage to write a quick few lines to Ivory’s agent. Hopefully, I’ll get some response. I don’t understand all the secrecy. Is she part of the Valerie Plame/CIA leak investigation as well? In any case, with the exception yet again of Lisa Kleypas (yes, I am biased…so what?), I believe Avon authors have stopped creating butterflies in my stomach…or, at least, their characters have. My most recent Avon read was THIS RAKE OF MINE by Elizabeth Boyle. Now, I enjoyed SOMETHING ABOUT EMMALINE and, believe me, THIS RAKE OF MINE was not bad by any means, BUT it wasn’t one of the best romance novels I’ve ever read either. Maybe my expectations for the book were too high or maybe…just maybe…I’m sick of the overused “You ruined me, so now I’m going to become a social graces teachers in a school for young ladies” plotline. Hmmm…maybe, I just don’t know. How many times can you read a book with the same recycled storyline before you start pulling your hair out?
Again, the book was good; it wasn’t bad. It was good…just incredibly unoriginal. I don’t know. I guess I was expecting something that didn’t occur 5 years later or 10 years later. Authors are always letting the years just fly and they never really explain in sufficient detail what the heck the heroine went through or how the douche bag hero reformed. It always explained in a paragraph or two and then back to the present. The reader never gets a chance to see the hero reform or experience the heroine’s pain…just a bunch of empty words. Is it the authors’ fault or Avon? Well, what do you think? AVON, of course. Why? Because they have the ability to demand a rewrite or different plotline. They have the ability to force the author to find some original thought and fast. What would it take for Avon to actually do something beneficial for their authors and for the fans? I honestly don’t know. I’m just 100% certain I’ll be reading another “ex virgin turned teacher in hiding” book in a couple of months by another Avon author.

When the Going Gets Rough...

I GIVE UP! I GIVE UP! I can't take it anymore...I'm on page 272 and I just can't take it. BRIDAL FAVORS may be a masterpiece for some, but it's a total flop for me. I hate it! I've been forcing myself to read this book, simply because I felt there had to be something to the story, if it's considered one of Connie Brockway's best. Only 50 pages left to the book and honestly, I really don't care what happens. So...I've decided to throw in the proverbial towel and start reading another book that hasn't been given a review yet: THIS RAKE OF MINE by Elizabeth Boyle. The excerpt sounds promising, so I'll give it a go. I also happen to have enjoyed her last work, SOMETHING ABOUT EMMALINE. As for BRIDAL FAVORS, well...it's going to end up at the UBS by the end of the month. I'd rather have $3 in my pocket for an overpriced Starbucks Latte than have this book take up space my city apartment doesn't have. I hate to have to do this, simply because I love Brockway's stories, but I just can't stomach this one. Off to Boyle's book...review to come!

When Heroes are Gay

I'm reading BRIDAL FAVORS by Connie Brockway. I'm on page 100 and I have yet to read about the hero even attempting to initiate any nookie with the heroine. Nothing, zip, nada! I know he's a spy and he's busy trying to uncover some twisted plot that doesn't make any sense to me, but give me a break. That never stopped any of the other heroes/scoundrels/rakes/spies/rogues/second sons BEFORE. Let's be honest, DID IT? I think the hero is confused about his sexuality; I'm beginning to think a little somethin' somethin' is going on between him and his loyal "BUTler" (no pun intended). I guess that's why the book is called BRIDAL FAVORS...if he ever gets around to sleeping with the heroine, it'll have to be as a favor to her.

And the Truth Shall Set You Free

More conflicting news regarding Judith Ivory. I posted something on the Avon board the other day and was informed by a poster that Ms. Ivory had previously stated ("on the record," according to said poster) that she had a bad back that didn't allow her to sit at the computer too long. Ok...great; there's one answer to my inquiry regarding how this author fell off the face of the earth. However, later another poster said that Ivory had undergone some serious abdominal surgery (which I guess could affect her back) and was on hiatus, spending time with her family…in any case, what’s the real story here? Again we have nothing but inconsistent statements from fans (not AVON...God forbid) regarding the whereabouts of this great woman. And again, I must give the blame for all of this confusion to…you guessed it…AVON. I suggest we all write to Ivory's literary agent to get to the bottom of this:

Judith Ivory
c/o The Axelrod Agency
PO Box 357
Chatham, NY 12037

Let’s hope we get some news soon!

The Unsolved Mystery of Judith Ivory

Avon proves yet again that it doesn’t give a flying shit about its fans. I am one of the biggest Lisa Kleypas, Mary Balogh, and Julia Quinn fans out there. Anyone wishing to dispute this, be my guest. Occasionally, I do find myself indulging in books written by other authors. Sabrina Jeffries, Connie Brockway, Elizabeth Boyle, Sara Bennett…the list goes on and on. I’ve stumbled a few times, by stupidly reading a Jane Feather novel (save yourself hours of distress and boredom) or even a lame Laurens’ book (honestly…when the hell is her Cynster series going to end?). One Avon author, though, once did what alcohol and valium could never do to me.

During a flight from San Francisco to New York’s JFK, I managed to forget I was on a plane thanks to Judith Ivory’s UNTIE MY HEART. Yes, ladies (and maybe gentlemen? There’s got to be at least one guy out there who reads romance novels), the book was that good. I’m one of those people who freak out easily on a plane, which is unfortunate because I LOVE to travel. I get up a million times. I breathe in and out. I can never seem to actually relax and just fall asleep or watch the already seen bad movie they always choose to show, without thinking the plane is going to crash and I’ll end up blown to bits by the impact. However, about a year ago, I read UNTIE MY HEART and boy, it did just that. The book has it all; it’s funny, romantic, intelligent and, if you choose to read it, it will take your breath away and make you want for more. I immediately had to buy more of her books.

As is the case with every romantic fanatic, I immediately had to add her website to my FAVORITES. I was shocked when I was told her site had been shut down. What happened? There was nothing on the Avon site (who holds Ivory out as one of their authors) stating something was wrong….no real news as to the whereabouts of the author. After doing some research, I discovered various sites speculating and learned that many believed she was suffering from serious health concerns; other sites claimed it was back trouble; some sites said it was nothing, that she was working on her latest book set in the Victorian era. As to be expected, Avon never had anything on their site answering any of the fans’ questions.

However, I wasn’t surprised after the stunt they pulled by postponing Lisa Kleypas’ highly anticipated DEVIL IN WINTER, something I’m still angry about! Today, I found out from a fan that Ivory might have health issues and was given Ivory’s Literary Agent’s contact information. Yes, I had to get this info from a fan, someone who might not even know the whole truth. Is Avon really that doubtful of their fans’ intelligence? Do they think we’ll stand around and believe that they don’t know what’s up with Judith Ivory? She’s obviously still breathing. I’m sure they would post something as serious as death on their website (but then again, I might be giving them too much credit).

More and more, I want to boycott Avon. Is anyone else irritated by this? Is anyone else here a Judith Ivory fan? Maybe even a fan who KNOWS the truth? This entire thing stinks of something fierce. Sometimes, I think they just gave her the ax and just don’t want to admit it because they know her fans would want their heads on a stick.

I’m not at all surprised by Avon’s behavior…their silence speaks loud and clear. They don’t care about fans…they only want their money. I realized this the day DEVIL IN WINTER was postponed, when they ignored Kleypas’ pleas not to do so. Today is just further proof of it. I will write to Ivory’s literary agent and hope to get some answers…answers AVON is not really interested in giving (you'd think they would have plenty of time, because clearly they don't really edit their books anymore). What do you think? Am I being too harsh? Should I just chill out (you may think so, but I won’t)? Your comments will be most welcome.

Hiatus Alert

I'm currently in the process of gathering my thoughts and figuring out a way to revamp this blog. I WILL BE BACK. Thanks for reading!

Winner of the 2005 SHITZY Award

A Shitzy is awarded to the author who writes the worst piece of dung romance literature on the market. By dung literature, I mean a story that is so far fetched and asinine, a hero whom one can only describe by using the P-word (sorry, I can't say it or write it...it upsets me too much), a heroine who's got shit for brains (which is apparently what the author believes readers have) and an ending that brings pure joy and relief.

The nominees are (drum roll drum roll drum roll):

1. Lauren Royal for LOST IN TEMPTATION - highlight is the scene in which heroine asks her own brother how to have sex; brother proceeds to describe the sexual act in detail; later, when hero and heroine are set to do "it," the heroine cannot stop mentioning her brother's lessons. Pure genius!

2. Julia Quinn for IT'S IN HIS KISS - where the plot revolves around the hero's grandmother more than the actual love story between the hero and heroine; oh, the heroine is also a younger version of the hero's grandmother which makes thoughts of his getting together with the girl almost too much to stomach (how do you spell INCESTUOUS?). Superb!

3. Jillian Hunter for THE SEDUCTION OF AN ENGLISH SCOUNDREL - in which the editors apparently forgot to cut off nearly 200 pages. The romance actually ended at p. 120 or so, but inexplicably 200 additional pages were left attached to the story. Go figure! The book was as long and forgettable as the title. Amazing!

And the Shitzy goes to:

LAUREN ROYAL FOR LOST IN TEMPTATION.

Any other authors you deem worthy of a Shitzy?

Challenging Books

Currently reading Laura Kinsale's FLOWERS IN THE STORM...wow! This has to be one of the most challenging romances I've ever read. Fluffy and light are two words that could never be used to describe this book. Any other challenging books out there? Suggestions are much appreciated.

Better than Derek?

Can any hero top Kleypas' Derek Craven, the sexy troubled hero of DREAMING OF YOU? I fell in love with him from the first moment I read about him in THEN CAME YOU. Now ladies, word is that Derek Craven is nothing compared to Sebastian, Lord St. Vincent soon to appear (in March, thanks to Avon - was supposed to come out this November) in the 3rd Wallflower book, THE DEVIL IN WINTER. Can this be? Can anyone top Derek Craven?

Clive Owen...

I just have to say this...I watched Gosford Park for the first time yesterday and had the immense pleasure of CLIVE OWEN...unfortunately just watching him, but it was close enough for me to think that for one evening he was mine ALL MINE! I would love to see him starring as one of those villains turned heroes...perhaps Enoch's St. Aubyn or even Kleypas' Sebastian, the villain/hero set to grace the pages of the 3rd Wallflower series book THE DEVIL IN WINTER out in March. I don't know...I've been fantasizing about a man like him since I saw the movie. He is so beautiful! If you know of any, please let me know....I would like to believe that there IS another one like him out there, except SINGLE and available to love moi and ONLY moi!!! Gosh, I love accents! I need to go to the UK...pronto...any accent will do...Scottish, Welsh, I don't care..CLIVE OWEN, I LOVE YOU!

The Funk is Over

At least, I think it is...in the last few weeks, I've read one bad book after the other...books I've wanted to hurl out the window, rip to shreds and use as confetti. All this changed last night...I finished Once A Gentleman by Candice Hern and WOW...what a good book! It wasn't earth shattering or as breathtaking as a Brockway novel or even a Balogh, but it was good and it did what no book has been able to do in the last month: it released me from the curse of the funk caused by Avon. The premise wasn't exactly one of the most original, but Hern's depiction of Prudence and Nicholas Parrish truly managed to reel me in. Prudence represents every young girl in the world who never feels worthy of her mate...insecure and shy, all she wants is for her beloved to LOVE her and accept her as a woman, not merely a friend. Nicholas, on the other hand, is a typical male...frustrating, oblivious and so darn sexy...it's hard to think straight. The romance is funny and sweet and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Thank you, Ms. Hern...the money is on the dresser, Chocolate!

As Spineless as an Old Used Book

Why are posters on the avon authors' message boards such spineless twirps? I never hear one negative remark...ok...backtrack, rewind and correction...I RARELY HEAR ONE NEGATIVE REMARK come out of these people about Avon's greedy ways, no bad reviews, no WHAT THE FA? Nothing...everything is YOU'RE BOOK WAS SO AWESOME or MY GOD, JULIA...YOU'VE DONE IT AGAIN..A REAL WINNER...such BS...such blinding BS. Most the books published by Avon today lack storyline, sex appeal, eroticism, humor, all qualities that make a great novel. What we get today, at the cost of $7.99, is a recycled piece of crap that I wouldn't even use to pick up my dog's waste. If you've read one, you've read them all...just change the names of the characters and perhaps the titles...yes, because they're all titled characters...earls, dukes, barons (although barons seem to get more and more rare...seems like there were a zillion dukes once upon a time, according to these people), rich heiresses...it's just sickening! No one comments on this AT ALL...nothing but kudos for authors who've clearly deteriorated in literary genius. I don't get it. When one dares be honest on this board...oh, God forbid, the ladies there just lose it. I'm not even going to bother anymore. It's too frustrating. The books suck and it's time more people noticed it and wrote it out! More to follow...