A Shitzy is awarded to the author who writes the worst piece of dung romance literature on the market. By dung literature, I mean a story that is so far fetched and asinine, a hero whom one can only describe by using the P-word (sorry, I can't say it or write it...it upsets me too much), a heroine who's got shit for brains (which is apparently what the author believes readers have) and an ending that brings pure joy and relief.
The nominees are (drum roll drum roll drum roll):
1. Lauren Royal for LOST IN TEMPTATION - highlight is the scene in which heroine asks her own brother how to have sex; brother proceeds to describe the sexual act in detail; later, when hero and heroine are set to do "it," the heroine cannot stop mentioning her brother's lessons. Pure genius!
2. Julia Quinn for IT'S IN HIS KISS - where the plot revolves around the hero's grandmother more than the actual love story between the hero and heroine; oh, the heroine is also a younger version of the hero's grandmother which makes thoughts of his getting together with the girl almost too much to stomach (how do you spell INCESTUOUS?). Superb!
3. Jillian Hunter for THE SEDUCTION OF AN ENGLISH SCOUNDREL - in which the editors apparently forgot to cut off nearly 200 pages. The romance actually ended at p. 120 or so, but inexplicably 200 additional pages were left attached to the story. Go figure! The book was as long and forgettable as the title. Amazing!
And the Shitzy goes to:
LAUREN ROYAL FOR LOST IN TEMPTATION.
Any other authors you deem worthy of a Shitzy?
Friday, August 19, 2005
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