Friday, January 04, 2008

Carrot Top




Is Jacquie D'Alessandro's Avon's ugly red-headed stepchild or something? She's a great writer. Unfortunately, Avon's Art Department seems to enjoy giving her the shaft with deformed heroines that are far from pleasing to the eye (ok...I might be exaggerating, but they're not HOT). Is she being punished for something?

Kathryn Caskie just got to Avon and she's getting SEX basically stamped on her books!

Jacquie, if I were you, I'd demand some red covers and hotter heroines. Just a thought!

One at a Time, LADY!

I don't get it. What is UP with writers these days? I have to wait three flippin' years to read Book 2 of Lisa Valdez's exciting series about three sisters (still waiting; it's supposedly out in May 2008, but I'm not holding my breath. I've heard that one before). The first novel, PASSION, came out in July 2005. YES, this is no typo! 2005! I kid you not! PASSION was incredible but apparently, some tight wads' panties got a little too twisted and they started writing nasty letters to the author ripping her a new one for writing what they thought was porn...or I guess for not warning them that the book would contain some sex scenes. Yeah, I know. Sex scenes in a romance novel....what will they think of next?!?

These idiots gave Valdez writer's block. She couldn't write after that, took it personally and turned in her second book late! The book was delayed...quite a bit. NOW FINALLY (and hopefully) we'll get to read her new book in May. Hopefully, the judgmental pricks didn't ruin it for everyone and the story will be as good and sex-filled as PASSION (yeah, I want the sex DAMMIT!). I also hope Valdez will grow more of a spine and perhaps not participate in message boards talks (a lot of tight wads attacked her in ALL ABOUT ROMANCE boards). Write your book and take a vacation! Trust me, if Book 2 is as good as Book 1, you're as good as gold!

In addition (yeah, I'm full of advice today), Lisa Valdez should learn to update her website a bit more often. It's like she's fallen off the face of the earth. Is your book coming out or what? Her site hasn't been updated since May 2007. I know she's busy and all, but it would nice to know with CERTAINTY that her book is indeed coming out in May of 2008!!! PATIENCE is still showing up as a 2007 publication. Please update or you'll lose your fans NOT because you're untalented (BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAZINGLY TALENTED AND GIFTED...DON'T EVER STOP WRITING), but because your fans will simply FORGET about you. PRIMROSE, Book 3 of the series, will probably be published when I'm in my 50s (a long long long time away, trust me) at this rate.

But the post is not really about Lisa Valdez and the morons who apparently felt forced to read the sexually explicit book (if you don't approve with a book, put it away or return it to your local bookseller, ASSHOLE!), it's about Lorraine Heath and her need to start a new series without finishing another. Now, her recent Roses and Rogues series is nowhere close to being the amazing gift from God that her Texas series was (DESTINY, SPLENDOR...you ladies know what I'm referring to), but it's not terrible and I was looking forward to its end. Well, apparently, Heath is either having writer's block or her publishing house (Avon, duh!) wants to make sure she suckers in even more readers with a new series. I honestly have no clue. I can't seem to get any feedback on the avon boards. I'm annoyed...extremely annoyed. Do I have other things to do besides reading romance novels and being irritated at writers I don't know from Adam? YES! Does this mean I shouldn't be even slightly annoyed to have to wait forever for the conclusion of a series? NO!

WTF, people? Finish a series before you start a new one. I don't get it! Did you really have no ideas for the last book? Hmmm...why don't you just recycle the usual ones? It's not like romance novels lately are so groundbreaking or original. A good ruined horny debutante virgin story will do nicely. Just finish the series and then move on to the next! Baaaaaaaaaaaah!

If anyone knows what the hell is going on, let me know. I'm confused.

By the way, I'm ready to put a missing persons' ad out for Judith Ivory.

UPDATE: Ok...after a bit of thought, I have to say that I'd rather have a book...any book...by Heath waiting for me at the book stores than none at all. I guess I can wait for Roses and Rogues to end at a later date. I just really want to finish the series. If Heath doesn't have a story just yet, then I can move on and read the next series. See...I'm not that unreasonable, right?!? It better be good though!

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

North and South

Apparently, there's been much talk recently of BBC's NORTH AND SOUTH miniseries which I own, of course, and following which I became madly in love/lust with Richard Armitage (my new ideal man...sorry, Gerard Butler...you're out). It got me to thinking of the epic 80s' miniseries of the same name, starring Patrick Swayze, James Read and Lesley Anne Downe. I was a child at the time and I remember sneaking into the living room, wanting to watch the saga. My parents would always catch me, so I had to settle for watching the taped episodes on weekends.

Can anyone top the love stories depicted in this miniseries? To this day, my heart still beats strongly whenever I hear the theme music composed by the great Bill Conti. Check this one out on netflix or at your local video store. You won't be sorry! And just a word of advice, there's a North and South, Part 3, Heaven and Hell, out there. DO NOT SEE IT! Trust me...it's not worth it. To be honest, it destroys the rest of the miniseries. It was filmed in the 90s and contains characters never mentioned in the 80s series. It's terrible. I pretend it doesn't exist. You should, too!

Check out NORTH AND SOUTH, Book 1 and Book 2 only. Enjoy!!!

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

A Small Dose of Reality

Imagine having a friend who:

a) recently separated from her spouse,
b) has a major crush on a co-worker,
c) claims she wants to be alone to find herself, since she's never been alone,
d) spent NYE with the co-worker she wants to bang.

What would you say to her? Keep in mind she's still married. First she says she's going to be alone and focus on herself and then I find out she's meeting the new guy's friend. SHE'S STILL MARRIED!!! I love her to death, but she's saying one thing and doing something else. It's driving me nuts because she's not even divorced and I'm getting all self-righteous on her ass because her hubby is a nice guy (she just fell out of love) and I feel like she being totally disrespectful. I don't know how to talk to her. I don't want her to get hurt either. Yeah, I know these are her mistakes to make...her life, but I'm the one who has to hear her talk about this new guy and then in the same breath claim she's not dating him. Sure....yeah, right!

I want to help her. I know I can't. I do need to talk to her w/o saying something I will regret. How would you handle it?

Oh..and BTW that new Julianne MacLean book stinks as much as that crap by Dodd I read recently. Review to come!