Sunday, January 01, 2006

WORST BOOKS OF 2005

Almost a Bride? More like Almost a Book! Ms. Feather, please take a vacation, go on hiatus, a sabbatical, whatever will enable you to write the masterpieces I've heard, over and over again, you are supposedly capable of.

Shawshank Redemption II is not something I thought I would be reading when I purchased this book. I don't even know why AVON even bothers putting this red-headed bimbo on the cover. I wanted a romance novel, not some depressing guilt-ridden tale of a man fucked up by jail.

Over at Avon, it was Elizabeth Boyle's turn to do a Ruined Virgin Turned Teacher story in September. I would have been OK with the story had the heroine not been depicted as a useless piece of dirt. She almost got the hero arrested for murder! Why heroines like this one get heroes in the end is beyond me. I guess that's why it's called fiction (although I know plenty of real life skanks who get'em, too).

Could you ever in your wildest dreams imagine yourself asking your brother how to have sex? Well, imagine no longer...experience it in this novel, quite possibly the most asinine I've read this year.

Hero was a major stud in the books leading up to this one. However, Julianne MacLean decided that she had to castrate him and remove his balls once she gave him a book. What a wimp he turned out to be! And Lily? Girl pretty much forced him to marry her. Pathetic!

I'm confused....wasn't this supposed to be Hyacinth's romance? I don't recall reading a love story.

JUST ONE TOUCH...that's pretty much what this book got from me. I skimmed it because it was so bad. I have no plot recollection. Thanks, Avon!

3 comments:

Avid Reader said...

You made me laugh, I needed it, too. Thanks.

sybil said...

You know I don't have a brother but really in this case, wasn't her mother dead and wasn't she close to her bro? It didn't read as omg horrid as I was expecting after reading your review.

Or maybe I am just more open minded and talking about sex doesn't seem like a big issue to me. But over all I didn't like the book. I am writing up a review - again (don't ask) for the silly thing. So it is on my mind.

I haven't read the Mullins book yet but I generally like the author. I did enjoy Love According to Lily and Almost a Bride.

This Rake of Mine was so not what I was expecting and I still haven't been able to finish it without heavy skimming. And Heath... oh just thinking about her makes me cry. I want her to go back to westerns! So I am pouting and haven't even read this books summary much less the book but "depressing guilt-ridden tale of a man " could be half the men in romanceland.

And no not just Avon :). I really don't think you and kristie should be allowed to play together. Scandalous is one of the books I am going to make her read, so I can't wait to hear if you like it or not. Never tried Enoch or Quinn.

Great lists! Back to finishing my 2006 want list....

romancelover said...

LOL...thanks, Avid Reader & Sybil!

To Sybil, in case you read again - I do have a brother and am quite open minded when it comes to sex. However, the brother literally told her how to do it...I can see one talking about sex with siblings and all but the whole story struck me as odd and the fact I hated the most was her mentioning her brother's "tips" when she was having sex with the hero.
In any case, thanks for posting. As for Heath, I truly hope her PROMISE ME FOREVER novel is good! It sounds like it will be, but who knows, right? I'll keep my fingers crossed! :)