Monday, March 13, 2006

I Am the King of Wishful Thinking

Anyone remember the GO WEST classic from the early 90s, KING OF WISHFUL THINKING? You know…the catchy tune from the hit PRETTY WOMAN? Why is it that romance heroes think they can get over a heroine and get on with their lives? It’s pointless. They’ll leave the continent, go off to India or Jamaica or wherever and then come back for five minutes and realize they never stopped loving the heroine. Of course they fight it all the way. They’ll treat the heroine like pure shit, verbally assault her, maybe even force her to pretend they’re in love to punish her for dumping him years earlier, but all the while they’re in heat for her, desperately and hopelessly devoted to them. Why is it that we think all of this is cute when we read it or watch it on TV, but if, God-forbid, we are greeted with the same sort of circumstance (a boyfriend who can’t get over us, a friend’s man who will not let go) we are all of a sudden ready to call the cops?

A few years ago, I broke up with a guy who ½ hour later begged me to take him back…yes, begged me. It was most distressing. I felt sorry for him because he looked like he was going to cry. We were in college and perhaps he was feeling lonely. I was disgusted by the sight of him, almost down on his knees…argh! I didn’t love him; maybe that’s why I was so turned off by his pathetic gesture. Perhaps it would have been different if I had felt an ounce of emotion for him. Perhaps, I wouldn’t have wanted to throw a bucket of ice cold water on him and slap the shit out of him…perhaps.

Today, when I read about the same scenario, I awwwwwww myself to death for hours. What a man…he loves her so much. Wah wah wah wah wah… Give him a chance…blah blah blah. What is it about romances and women? Why aren’t we…or maybe…why am I not as understanding towards real everyday men as I am towards Lord Something or Other? Then again, why aren’t real men as sexy as Lord Something or Other? Hmmm…


Holly said...

It's kind of funny that I opened your blog and read this today, because I was just thinking about this very same thing.

Actually, the whole "on your knees, begging" thing with a hero has always kind of made me uncomfortable in books. Or when they wax poetic and declare their undying love, I've always been a little skeptical, like, Pshaw, riiight. Real men don't speak like that...they don't say things like, "You're the most amazing thing in my life...I love you more than're as brilliant as the sun rising" and etc. Ok, maybe they say the part about loving you more than anything, but really, the rest? Far fetched if you ask me.

But then I met MM. And he's like that. He says the most cheesy things to me sometimes. At first I was like, "Ok, this guy is a freak." But after I came to care for him, I find it endearing and heartwarming. He says stuff like, "I've waiting my whole life for you. I never imagined I could love someone as much as I love you right now, right this moment" and instead of thinking "Gag me with a spoon" I find myself melting for him.

He told me once that he's glad he suffered everything he did so that he could end up in this perfect moment, right now (as we were snuggling together) and I got tears in my eyes.

Since I met him, I look at the words and actions of heroes differently. I Oooh and Awww just like always, but now, instead of kind of rolling my eyes while I'm doing it, I actually smile, because I realize real me do act that way, sometimes.

So, I think I'm inclined to agree with you that it was because you did't really care for that particular man (boy?) from college. Perhaps emotion does make all the difference?

romancelover said...

Does MM have a brother?

Holly said...

LOL. It's funny, but a lot of people ask me that.. haha

Sorry, no brother. But if I find another like him I'll be sure to let you know. ;)