Monday, May 29, 2006

The Final Stages of Desperation

How desperate are my parents to see me married?

Tonight they went to a barbecue, met up with some friends who just happened to know an Italian guy looking for a good Italian girl. They gave said friends my cell phone number to give to random Italian guy (aka TOTAL STRANGER and POSSIBLE SERIAL KILLER).

I'm almost sure a personal ad is next....if it hasn't happened already (hmmm...I guess that would explain the crank calls).

I told them they had crossed the line, but meddling Italians parents are meddling Italian parents. What can I do? I'll probably end up like them, so I should just shut up!

If my life were a romance novel, total stranger would call me and we'd arrange to meet at a local Starbucks. On my way there, I get hit by a car and lose my memory. Said stranger, who looks exactly like Gerard Butler, has seen the whole thing and wants to help me out, but also sleep with me because I am one HOT Italian lady, so he pretends I am his wife...I am afraid (heck..I don't remember anything), but am wildly aroused by this Gerard Butler-like stud, so I go along with it. He falls in love; I fall in love and then I find out that we're not really married, when his evil twin brother tells me everything. I feel betrayed. We separate, but ultimately we end up together and move to one of hot stud's many homes in Europe. THE END. Oh, yeah...did I mention he's fabulously wealthy and has a British accent...oh...and is a duke?

Unfortunately, my life is not a romance novel...although I am feeling a bit like a bluestocking wallflower lately.


Holly said...

I'm thinking I like the romance novel version. Though I could probably do without the amnesia. Cuz you know, it's just DONE. LOL

Otherwise, I'm all on board. MY Italian mom isn't like that, instead, she offered to buy me sex rather than set me up with a "nice Italian boy", which, really, I'm not sure is better....

Mailyn said...

bahaha!!!! ok dude that was good. maybe we should get together and write a funny historical. I think we have a shot lol

LMAO!!! buy you sex?!?! bahahaha!!! you guys are killing me

Holly said...

Personally, I didn't think it was all that funny that she was offering to buy it, but hey, that's just me.

*long, drawn out, suffering sigh*


Dylan said...

LOL, how funny. You poor thing! My parents are cool, they'll let me settle down when I'm good and ready! hehe...I don't have to worry about my Mom goign behind my back to hook me up with some random guy! LOL.

I do like your romance novel though hehe....write it, write it! hehe.

Kate D. said...

I'm a fan of the romance novel... if you change "evil twin" to "meddling ex of heroine" then I think it's probably already out there somewhere... :)

You have my sympathies. My parents are not Italian, but they are high school sweethearts. The fact that The Boyfriend's been around for 2.5 years and I'm still not sporting a ring wigs them out... my mother, especially, keeps asking me when she'll hear "the good news."


romancelover said...

Buy you sex? Well, my mom has suggested on several occasions that I should start sleeping around...hmmm...

Isabel said...

I like the romance novel version too.

My parents pretty much left me alone. It my step grandmother who kept asking when I was gonna settle down. Grrr.