NO MAN'S BRIDE

AAR just reviewed Galen's NO MAN'S BRIDE and....HOLY SHITE! This book sounds terrible! I know I shouldn't judge 'til I read it (and I was planning on reading it, mind you) but how wrong can a review be? Don't get me wrong...I don't always agree with AAR reviews, but an F??? The reviewer sounds as pissed off as I was after reading Sylvia Day's ASK FOR IT. I don't know about you, but I think I might trust this review and steer clear of the book.

Read the review and weep...I didn't know whether to laugh or send Ms. Galen condolence cards.

ASK FOR IT

I'm not exactly sure what Sylvia Day is telling me to ask for, but after reading her new book I can only assume the answer to be MY MONEY BACK. Gosh, what an experience reading this book was. The cover's backblurb and author's site offered what I thought would be exactly the story I've been itching to read for a while: heroine dumps hero only days before they are to wed; hero is beyond upset and vows to make her pay one day. They finally meet again and sparks fly. However, hero is having none of it...he wants her to want him and will try everything to make sure she falls for him (I know you're all shaking your heads right now).

I know the story sounds like thousands of others you've read before. If this is the case, please send me a note with a list of said books because I can never seem to find any in bookstores and personally the story of the jilted hero who never quite stops loving the heroine is one of my favorites. I thought I would be getting one of the best love stories around. I was sadly mistaken...and pissed beyond belief because I used a Borders gift card to get the book. $14.00...I spent $14 on it!!! Argh!

What's bad about the story? Where do I start? How about everything. All About Romance's review hit it on the dot: the lead characters are two of the most immature brats ever written (ok...maybe not ever written, but they're morons...you get the idea). Sex seems to be all they engage in when they're not mucking everything up with idiotic and silly banter.

The hero is obsessed with the heroine. Normally, I wouldn't mind that sort of thing in a romance; however, it really got on my nerves here. The obsession and stalking he engaged in were too much...dude needed to get a life PRONTO! I felt sorry for him! The heroine didn't seem worth his effort. What was so special about her? Nothing really. I never really got a chance to truly know the characters. I didn't really want to. They bored me to tears and I still cannot figure out why I even bothered finishing the book.

Here's the story in a nutshell: hero and heroine are in love, ready to get married. Heroine has some daddy issues (which Day never really clears up...or maybe she did...honestly, I skimmed a lot of the book, so many an explanation was offered...whatever...who cares!). She sees hero half naked with some lady. Of course, she thinks he's cheating on her, so she immediately runs off with a colleague of her brothers and marries him. Hero is heartbroken and runs far far away. Now the story sounds pretty good, right. I should have known it would only frustrate me because of the fact that the heroine didn't even bother to ask for an explanation from the hero. She just left and married some other man. What the fa? Of course, the guy dies 4 years later and she's a widow. She's like totally available now. Enter hero....boy, he's been waiting for this moment for like EVER and he's ready for revenge...cut to thirty sex scenes later, some lame mystery, a couple of people getting killed, stabbings, ransacked bedrooms, kids born, sex, misunderstandings, sex, marriage, sex, misunderstandings, sex, TSTL heroine antics, misunderstandings, sex, jealousy, misunderstanding, sex, mystery solved, the end.

I don't recommend this book to anyone. I didn't enjoy it. The mere fact that I skimmed a lot of it towards the end and that it took me more than a week should be enough to convince you that this book is one to skip.

If you are like me and you bought it for $14, then read it...you might like it. We all have different tastes, after all. I was disappointed. I feel cheated....kinda like the time I thought I was going to eat lasagna for dinner and then had to settle for spaghetti. Not a good feeling at all.

20 Things that Irritate Me (Only 20?)

I was tagged by Holly.

1. The phrase AND THEN THERE WERE (fill in with a number). It pisses me off to no end. AND THEN THERE WERE 4, AND THEN THERE WERE 3, AND THEN I threw something at my tv set. Yeah, cause you usually hear this line on tv, typically on a lame reality show (I love lame reality shows), like American Idol, or Project Runaway (my new addiction) or one of the Real World/Road Rules Challenges (why can I not break away from MTV shows?).

2. Tardiness. It's inexcusable and disrespectful. I cannot stand people who are late...once is ok...I'll make an exception, but all the time. Every day? Set your frickin' alarm an hour early! I used to have a friend who'd be late for everything. I'd pick her up to go out to party and she'd still have to take a shower. Not only that, but you'd think a person who's late would just comb her hair real quick or something...NOOOOOOOOOO...she had to straighten her extremely curly hair! Nice! I love being 2 hours late to parties, church or whatever.

3. People who ask HOW ARE YOU? and then walk away before you even answer. Now, ok...I know HOW ARE YOU has become akin to HELLO in today's world, but it's a question, not a greeting and I will answer it DAMMIT! People through the years have learned not to ask me that because, believe you me, I will tell them exactly how I'm doing...in detail.

4. Friends who become MIA as soon as they get a boyfriend. I've had several friends through the years who have literally dropped off the face of the earth, as soon as they met the man they thought was THE ONE. Months would go by without even a hint of their existence. I was very close to filing a missing person's ad on several occasions. Next thing I know, they call me. I start to wonder why, then I find out. The boyfriend is either a) now an ex and they need someone to help them deal with the loss or b) the boyfriend is out with his buddies and "friend" needs someone to hang out with. I've dropped friends through the years because of this. I've never been like this...to be honest, I've always tried to have a pretty good balance between spending time with friends and boyfriends. My friend Debbie is currently one of those friends. I'll call her and she won't call me for weeks. When I finally get in touch with her (miracle), she is deaf to my whines about life, but then suddenly finds her hearing when the subject comes to her boyfriend and her relationship! I'm old enough not to have to deal with this shit anymore.

5. People who start a story with serious JUICE potential and then end it with I JUST CAN'T TELL YOU THE REST...YOU WOULD GET TOO UPSET or even I KNOW SOMETHING SO JUICY, YOU'LL JUST DIE, BUT I CAN'T TELL YOU. What the fuck, bitch!?!? Why would you even start talking about it, if you have no intention whatsoever of telling me anything? If it's a secret, you should have kept your trap shut from the start 'cause you've already violated that person's confidence by opening your mouth, so you might as well just finish it! Argh!

6. I don't appreciate being talked down to. I'm not an idiot! Condescending people need to stay away from me!

7. Sexist pigs!

8. TSTL heroines and books that insult my intelligence such as those in which high pleasure is achieved during the heroine's first time. There's no pain AT ALL. Immediate satisfaction for all and the act itself (without foreplay) is about an hour long. Sure...I believe it! Riiiiight!

9. Those who believe there should be NO separation between church and state. There should be! End point!

10. Close-minded individuals.

11. Disguised bigotry (many instances of that in recent months here in our own country...sad!).

12. People who hate Hillary Clinton for no reason. Just frickin' admit it's cause you don't want a strong woman in the White House and are terrified she'll be there in 2008!

13. People who believe global warming is a liberal lie. What else could it be?

14. Jessica Simpson and any other celebrity who should be using their money to help people, rather than party and shop all day and night (I especially dislike Jessica Simpson).

15. 3% raises at work...we all got one in March. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Thanks for the extra bus fare money, jerks!

16. Fox's cancellation of REUNION. I'll never know how the mystery ends. FUCKERS!

17. GIRLS GONE WILD.

18. The fact that Lindsay Lohan's mom has done zilch to help her daughter get her act together. Why would she? She's too busy partying it up and living the high life! Gucci, anyone?

19. People who don't vote and then complain when the shit hits the fan! You had your chance scumbag!

20. The cop out apology I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY which isn't even an apology, but more like a FUCK YOU.

I have many more...but the post would be too long.

Err...I'VE READ THIS, RIGHT?

Warning: The following excerpt contains a bit of what was going through my head when I was reading it...enjoy!

NO WOMAN CAN RESIST HIM...EXCEPT ONE (oh, please....gag me)

Lord Martin Langdon (What? No clever nickname?) takes pride in his scandalous reputation as a scoundrel (never heard that one before), and he considers the art of seduction a most rewarding pastime (like all other zillion rakes I've read about). So when this dashing rakehell learns of a particularly beautiful woman who is "impossible to flirt with," (Oh, God...please, not another bluestocking TSTL heroine) he is determined to prove that not even the prim and proper Evelyn Wheaton can resist his charms (I smell a bet...gag me some more). Evelyn knows all about the reckless rogue's shocking reputation (duh!) and she wants nothing to do with him (yeah, right...until she has marathon sex with him her very first time....all pleasure and no pain AT ALL, of course...because he's suuuuuuuch a good lover). She may be looking for a husband, but Martin is certainly not a candidate (just good enough for some free nooky). The smoldering looks he sends her way, however, are a different matter entirely. She suspects there is great passion to be had if she'd throw caution to the wind and surrender to this scoundrel... but dare she risk her heart? (AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH)

Is it my imagination or have I seen this cover before? As a matter of fact...I feel like I've also read the book. What the hell is up with romances these days? Are authors really that hard up for ideas? I've enjoyed plenty of MacLean books over the last few years; her books aren't masterpieces (but then again, what is these days?), but they show great potential and I'm a sucker for authors (and anything else) with potential, but this...gosh, give me a fuckin' break. I've read this story. I know I have. I can't remember when or where I read it, but I read it. The synopsis sounds so much like every other book I've have the pleasure (or displeasure) of reading over the last year or two, that I'm about ready to yak my brains out.

Does this mean I will skip the book? Believe it or not (after this long rant) I can't. It's the last book of a series!!! How the hell can I skip it? I'm tempted, but I won't...I just...can't. I need strength...strength to break away from tired books and cut and paste covers. Is there something I can take for this? Hypnosis? A joint that makes you forget you were even reading a series? Anything? Hello? Help? Anyone there?

Dear Authors - I've read stories about morons who argue with themselves over whether to have sex with rakes and then proceed to "fuck" said rakes' brains out night after night after night.

I've read them and have enjoyed them immensely. However, how many more rake/innocent fair maiden combo stories must I read before I become fully lobotomized? Honestly, I'm starting to believe I'm halfway there thanks to the crap I've been reading lately. No offense to Julianne MacLean.

I almost feel bad for even writing this, but I was honestly taken aback by MacLean's book description. I was hoping for originality. Based on what was given me, I cannot say there's much. I may be wrong. I will read the book and report on it and I will apologize profusely to Ms. MacLean if I'm in error, but right now...heck, I'm just a little ticked!

SURRENDER TO A SCOUNDREL is out January 2007. Let's hope MacLean delivers!!!

P.S. I have a thing for red covers...I actually think this one's pretty.

M.I.A

I've been working, working and working, so I apologize for my blog's inactivity. I have a lot of updates coming soon, book reviews (one in particular that pisses me off...it sucked so much), author interviews (well, only one author interview), a tag list to complete (tagged by Holly...woo hoo) and more...

I finally developed my pictures (I'm still living in the dark ages and don't have a digital). Among them is one from a Candace Hern/Julie Anne Long book signing from a few months back...picture to come!

Brighter than the Sun

Has this book always sucked or have my tastes changed? I became very nostalgic recently and had to reread a few of Julia Quinn's older novels. I decided to pick up BRIGHTER THAN THE SUN and thought (emphasis on the THOUGHT) I was in for a wild ride. WRONG! I don't remember hating this book the first time I read it.

The hero was charming but he did zilch for me and the heroine...argh...what a moron! There was no chemistry, no funny tidbits...I just didn't enjoy the book the second time around. I'm not even going to go into it. Just know that the book was constantly being dropped on the floor in favor of house cleaning (yeah....no joke). Was I having an off day? No clue...I think perhaps my tastes have changed (that and the book left a lot to be desired in the sex appeal dept). The book is very cut and paste; nothing scandalous or inventive or really out of the ordinary can be found within its pages.

The book is one of Quinn's earlier works and it shows. Do I recommend it? Yes, if you want something light and fluffy. No, if you want some substance.

THE STRANGER I WANT TO MARRY

Why are Sylvia Day books $14? That irritates me! She's moved to Avon recently, so hopefully the prices will go down. I haven't read ASK FOR IT yet, although I managed to buy a copy with a gift card I won in a raffle (one of the few things I've ever won). AAR gave it a pretty bad review...err...I don't know what to say because I haven't read the book, but I truly hope I will enjoy the book, despite the review...hopefully the reviewer and I have different tastes in books. Hopefully she didn't like Day's use of the words COCK and FUCK. Yes, she uses that word...actually...wait a sec...is Avon going to make her tone it down? Hmmm...I wonder.

Day recently posted an excerpt to her December 26 release THE STRANGER I MARRIED. The cover, as you can see for yourself, is hot! The hero is smokin' hot! Where can I find one of those? Do any of them live near me? I'm willing to travel... The story sounds pretty good, different than any other I've read. Both lead characters are sluts...not something you see everyday in romance land.

Dell is the New Avon

Time and money have become very precious to me in recent years. I don't have much of either and try to use both wisely. Anything or anyone who gets in my way pays the consequences.

Mary Balogh is a romance author I don't usually discuss, mostly because I've read most of her recent books and have not yet found the energy and emotional stamina (her books are always incredibly intense and far from light) necessary for an evening with one of the characters of her mostly out of print regencies (which also cost me more than a pretty penny on ebay). However, I always look forward to new novels by her; her stories are brilliant! I always have to buy them as soon as they hit shelves. I'm that bad!

SIMPLY LOVE, Book 2 in her SIMPLY series came out a couple of weeks ago, yet I still don't own it, despite my obsession. Unfortunately for us FANS, Dell Publishing decided to release the novel as a hardcover! Thanks a lot stupid mother jumpers! Looks like I won't be reading the book 'til it comes out in paperback or I find it in a library. I just don't have it in me to spend over $22 on a romance novel...sorry! Perhaps, I'm nuts! Perhaps I'm selling the genre short by not wanting to fork over cash for books, but I can't help it.

Romance novel prices are slowly increasing and I'm beginning to realize that my addiction is quickly depleting my hard-earned funds! It's frustrating in particular when I spend money I should really be saving or buying eggs with on a book not even fit for bathroom reading (among other bathroom exercises it's not fit for). Buying excellent books is never a problem for me. Money used for an activity that only brings me delight (book reading) is money well spent!

What is the point of this post? Honestly, I don't know anymore. I wanted to post something quick about Mary Balogh and her new book and then I realized I didn't have her book because it would cost me approximately a dozen eggs, 6 cans of tuna, a bag of pita chips, laundry detergent, soy milk, cereal, gum and water. I started getting pissed at the publishing company and then started thinking about all the money I've spent on books that have sucked ass! Money I spend hours of pure boredom and suicidal thoughts making. I don't LOVE my job (hence the drama expressed in the last sentence), so money that I spend has to be spent on something that will make me happy! SHIT BOOKS DON'T MAKE ME HAPPY! So...message for authors, if your book sucks, expect a bad review! If your book makes my heart sing, expect the like.

I'm angry at Dell and its decision to release SIMPLY LOVE as a hardcover, making it difficult for many fans to buy the book 'til next year. Nice way to treat fans! Are romance novels like college today to Dell Publishing? ONLY AFFORDABLE BY THE RICH?

How do you feel about Dell's decision to publish Mary Balogh's recent Series books as hardcovers? Oh, yes...did I forget to mention this? The series is a 4 book series and they will all be published as hardcovers. Imagine Avon doing the same with the Bridgerton books? Or even with Lauren's 100 Cynster novels?

Recent Reads and Brief Reviews

SCANDAL IN SPRING, Lisa Kleypas - plot
THE GOOD - the love story between Daisy and Matthew was sweet and simple (with the exception of Matthew's big secret which threatened to ruin it all). We all believed Cam Rohan would be Daisy's hero based on their brief interaction in DEVIL IN WINTER, but it was not to be due to the two being entirely too similar and hence lacking the requisite chemistry. I didn't know what to expect from Matthew. Somehow I wanted him and Cam Rohan to be the same person. I don't know how that would have worked out, but at the time that's what I wanted. After reading SCANDAL, I realized that Matthew was perfect for Daisy. An ugly duckling turned swan, he was always in love with Daisy, seeing her for the adorable sweet woman she was; loving everything and anything about her...her quirks, her eccentricities, her faults. He was my kind of man, a Mark Darcy type who loves Daisy "just as she is." The story moved quickly and I was thrilled there were no misunderstandings or big drawn out separations. I especially loved the part when Daisy believed Matthew was dead...oh, dear...honestly when Lillian told Daisy that Matthew was believed to be dead, my heart just broke and I did shed a tear or two.
THE BAD - The often overbearing and obnoxious presence of Lillian Bowman...didn't this chick already get her own book? Get out of Daisy's!!! Gosh, I wanted to wring her neck so many times. Kleypas did a great job in depicting Lillian as controlling and selfish...I suppose a typical older sister (gosh, I'm sorta like that, too...thinking I know what's best for my younger brother and sisters)...it really got on my nerves (now I know why it's gets on my siblings' as well). I always hate it when people who've found love and married for love try to pair everyone else off with random guys they don't give a crap about. Nice! It's like they're the only ones allowed to marry for love or something (sorry, sore subject...my friends do this to me all the time).
Also, Matt's big secret drama solved itself in two seconds...I think. See I don't really know. One minute everyone is stressing about it and then next thing I know SILENCE. Did it get resolved? Did my book have a chapter missing? No clue.
OVERALL VERDICT - B: I enjoyed the book a lot, despite Lillian Bowman et al. I would recommend reading it for the simple fact that the love story between Daisy and Matthew is one of the sweetest I've read this year. It was a fitting end to a great series. My favorite is still DEVIL IN WINTER though...Sebastian Lord St. Vincent, please marry me!!!

FROM LONDON WITH LOVE, Jenna Petersen - plot
THE GOOD - I loved the romance between Meredith and Tristan; loved how he looked at her; loved reading what he thought whenever he looked at her. Wow! I enjoyed reading about an independent woman unafraid of demonstrating her love for a man. It was clear that the two characters were meant for each other. The sex scenes? Hot! I love it when two characters get caught in the act or close to it. Tristan is also a jealous hero, something I don't care much for in real life, but that I absolutely LOVE in romance novels. LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!
THE BAD - Somehow, I felt like my book was missing a prologue or something. The lead characters knew each other from the past, yet...since there really wasn't much talk about this past, except for a few paragraphs in the middle of the book, I felt like I started reading the novel midway. I was confused at the beginning and wanted to put the book down because of it. I was also pissed I wasn't being given a glimpse of the past relationship between the lead characters. How and when exactly did they fall in love with each other? All this talk about them loving each other from afar when they were younger...could I get at least 3 paragraphs showing me this? This frustrated me...I am glad I didn't put the book down though.
FINAL VERDICT - A-: read the book and then look forward to the second of the series coming later this year.

JUST ONE OF THOSE FLINGS, Candice Hern - plot
THE GOOD - something different; older woman/younger man romance....well, not that much younger..she's 35 and he's 29. The sex scenes are hot; I love it when a hero thinks he can just have sex with the heroine and then can't stop thinking about her. The love the hero clearly feels for the heroine is beautiful and I admired his putting everything on the line and telling her exactly how he felt. It's not very often we read about a hero telling the heroine he loves her more than life itself, not often we read about a hero who almost begs the heroine to marry him, not often we can actually feel the heartbreak following rejection. Hern is a fantastic writer. The hero is all you would ever want in a man. He doesn't care about the heroine's age; he loves her and can't see why they can't be together. He loves her, despite her "middle age" (her words, not mine); loves her for her mind and sees her as the beautiful creature she is, despite not having the body of a 20 year old. Now that's love!
THE BAD - I don't know why but everyone reassuring the heroine that she could still have kids even though she was 35 really irked me....I guess it was mentioned too much. I get it...ok...they're gonna have a zillion kids! What else? I hated her rejection of the hero...it broke my heart and made me hate the heroine just a bit. She was beyond cruel.
FINAL VERDICT - A-/B+: Read the book; I personally cannot wait for the last book of the trilogy, LADY BE BAD. Must we wait 'til Summer 2007? Argh!

EVERYTHING AND THE MOON, Julia Quinn - plot
This was a reread
THE GOOD - the initial rumblings of romance between the hero and heroine. I loved everything from the love at first sight, to their breaking it off to them finally meeting again.
THE BAD - the heroine's neverending grudge against the hero. Get over it, chica! It wasn't his fault you became a governess to a brat! The two were separated through a series of lies by both their parents. They spent 7 years hating each other because of it (with a lot of love mixed into it). They find out it was their parents' lies that separated them; the hero wants to marry the heroine, but the heroine? She carries a grudge against the hero because he believed the lies, even though she did the same. HYPOCRITE! I don't remember whether I loved the book or not the first time. However, I didn't like the heroine at all the second time around. She was too holier than thou for my taste. The hero, on the other hand, was YUUUUUUUUUMMY!!!
FINAL VERDICT - C+ (only because of the hero does it merit a +; had he been a douche bag like the heroine, it would have gotten a C or lower) : read if you must, only because it's a Quinn book, but you wouldn't miss anything if you didn't.

Breaking News: CHASE MOVES TO AVON

I almost passed out after reading Sybil's post about Loretta Chase moving to Avon. How could this be? What would happen to one of my favorite authors? I had to know...I e-mailed Loretta Chase (her address is available on her site) and YES, IT IS TRUE. She's now an Avon author...should we now be looking forward to covers that make no sense, half naked men outside in the middle of winter? Will her writing change? This is my biggest concern. Will Avon encourage Chase to write books about ruined virgins forced to become teachers? Or maybe bluestockings who run around in the middle of the night in the docks and then wonder why they were almost gang-banged? Hmmm...food for thought.

Chase does mention that her new Carsington book will be out more than likely in May 2007, which is good news. She thought that, with the move, it would be released later. I'm looking forward to her new book. Unfortunately, many fans will blame AVON if it stinks.

Chase wrote LORD OF SCOUNDRELS with Avon, so there's hope...although the AVON of LOS was not the AVON of today. Let's all keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.