Monday, July 03, 2006

While You Were Sleeping

I don't know who comes up with the cover art of Avon books; some of them are very classy, whereas others are just a mystery to me. Julia Quinn's Bridgerton books all have elegant covers. It's a pleasure toting them around. Lorraine Heath's recent book cover, an October 2006 release called A DUKE OF HER OWN (new trilogy...woo hoo) is a big giant mess. For the life of me, I have no flippin' clue what the couple on the cover is doing. Do you? Where is her right hand going? Where is it? Is it fondling his hard and muscular buttocks? What is she doing? Does the woman even have a right hand? I'm totally clueless. I've enjoyed most of Heath's covers, but I think Avon now thinks it can get away with giving her a lame ass ridiculous cover with a one handed heroine (not that there's anything wrong with one handed people, but it's a romance novel) and a brain dead hero.

The cover artist tried his or her hardest at depicting the hero in some state of arousal. Yeah...the word "tried" is significant here. The dude looks anything but excited; he looks asleep...yeah, asleep on top of the heroine. It looks like he rolled on top of her during one of his naps. Oh, yeah...now I get it...it's coming to me now. He was taking a nap..the heroine just happened to be there...she snuck in, you see. He rolled on top of her. He still has no clue he's sleeping on her; he's all cozy and warm. The bed feels kinda lumpy and soft, but hey...he's tired and man's gotta sleep, right? He had a tough day doing absolutely nothing, cause he's a duke, right? He fenced, boxed and drank it up at White's. Now he's sleeping and...the lady's suffocating...big time. She's all dress after all. Look at her!!!Underneath the mauve madness she's wearing, she's all skin and bones, ala Mary Kate Olsen (hey, wait...she looks like her, doesn't she?). Girl is out of air...she's dying and not in the way she thought she would be when she decided to sneak into the hero's bed. Poor kid! I'm sure the hero will figure out he's killed her once he wakes up and smells something off....by then, it'll be too late. Oh, well...I'm sure he'll recover. He's rich, handsome and it's fiction, after all...

I'd like to thank Bam for inspiring this post. She totally rocks! All kidding aside, since the authors apparently have no say in cover art (which I think totally blows), who does? Also, does Avon really think Heath's new cover is sexy? 'Cause it ain't!!! Not even close. I get the gist of it...the couple's aroused and they're very close to doing the nasty. The heroine is taking charge...maybe that's how the story works...heroine's uptight and then...boom...she decides to get her man. I don't know; I'm not the author. Can't tell ya!

I hope the bad cover isn't at all indicative of the story's quality.

Kristie...what do you think of this latest Avon cover?

3 comments:

sybil said...

not kristie but I play krisite on tv...

LOL I think the cover is horrid but avon didn't ask me :)

Holly said...

I'm with Syb on this...ICK!

Some covers. Though it doesn't stop me from buying them...lol

Kristie (J) said...

*huge sigh and shaking head sadly* They just aren't hearing me, those PTB at Avon. We may have to take more drastic measures. I'll have to ponder on this one.