Sunday, July 23, 2006

Don't Ask and You Shall Still Receive

A couple of days ago, at the office, I was minding my own business in the lunch room, when a colleague from another department came up to me and informed me that...well, here's how the conversation went:

Him: Ever since I got married last year, I've turned into a matchmaker.
Me: (Knowing what was coming but trying to remain calm) Oh, really...that's strange. Seems to happen to a lot of people these days.
Him: Yeah, so...I have a friend and...I immediately thought of you.
Me: (Wondering what gives everyone the impression that I'm single...I mean I am, but I'm not really actively looking for a man) Oh, really...tell me about him (well, I didn't want to be rude).
Him: Well, he's in his 40's, a teacher. He's Italian...he's...DRUM ROLL...GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE.
Me: A divorce? I don't think so. (what the fuck? Dude's still married).
Him: He's ready to date though.
Me: Ah...yeah...I don't think so. I don't want to be anyone's rebound chick.
Him: wouldn't be. My wife was my rebound and look at how well it's turned out (yeah, so far)...we're married now.
Me: I'll think about it, but I don't think so.
Him: Well, here's his name (gives me a business card). Let me know. No pressure.

Immediately, after said exchange, I did what any woman would do: I googled the name and...discovered that the man graduated from college in 1978 which means that, if the guy graduated when he was 22 that would make him 50 (NOT "in his FORTIES") which would make him 4 years younger than my mother and 9 years younger than my dad and a lot older than me! What the fuck is my "colleague" thinking? This isn't even the first time. I've got a bunch of people on my ass, insisting that I'm not getting any younger and I need to get married. Why? Don't get me wrong...I'd like to, but I'm in no rush and I WON'T SETTLE. I won't. I don't care if I have to wait another 10 years (hopefully not that long), I will not settle...compromise a little, but definitely NOT SETTLE.

Re: the guy....honestly, the age turns me off a little, but what really bothers me is that the man is still married and is just going through a divorce. Why would I (or anyone) want to be set up with a married man? What if he and his wife get back together at the last second? In any case, google provided me with a picture...guy looked like he could be my dad. I told the colleague THANKS, BUT NO THANKS.

Any of you have any crazy set up stories?

I think I could write a book about mine, at this point.


Valeen said...

Oh my. That would make him actually older than my mother. Ugh. I wonder if he is actually wanting to be set up or your colleague is doing it on his own?

I thankfully have no crazy set-up stories because I've never been match-makered with anyone.

Mailyn said...


OMG I would so tell your friend off. I hate when people, especially those that aren't even close to you, think they can hook you up. Hello! Do I have a welcome sign?! LMAO.

That was funny. Man you need a computer. LOL.

Stacy~ said...

Sounds like that co-worker of yours deserves a good smack. The age thing doesn't bother me as much as him still being married. Why would he think you would jump at that? Hello??

Some matchmakers are clueless. They are so busy trying to set up every single person they know that they don't even pay attention on whether they'd be compatible in any way, or they don't think the "matchmakee" has any standards so sure, throw a bone her way.

I agree - don't settle. It's not worth the misery LOL

Kate D. said...

You know what the great part is? After you start dating, it still doesn't stop. My favorite comment lately, "When are you and The Boyfriend getting married?" Quickly followed by, "My husband and I only dated two years before he proposed. You're, what, working on three?" Then a tsk, tsk and a shake of the head.

The better question, of course, is "Why doesn't The Boyfriend want to marry you?" There are so many assumptions there, the best one being that I've done something wrong. But I don't get that unless the person asking happens to be a blood relative.

Amarjaa said...

Ohmygod! That's truly terrible. I'm not sure what I do in your situation; run screaming into night?! ;)

I really don't have any crazy stories, thankfully, since I refuse to go be matchmade with anyone. That's a level of potential craziness I'm just not willing to go into!

bridget locke said...

I don't have a crazy set up story, but I do have a crazy blind date story. A few years ago I was on this stupid phone chat line (don't ask) and started talking to this guy. He seemed really nice, things progressed, we decided to meet...and well...nowhere near what he said he was.

Ended up being shorter than me (I'm 6'1"), weighed about 400 pounds, and was just ugh. I remember looking at him and thinking "Why me?"